Well the good times were short-lived. Just two weeks after telling the world I was finally feeling better with this pregnancy, I’m feeling rubbish again.
Emotionally, I’m beginning to worry about the stresses of having another little one to look after. As Craig is self-employed and solely responsible for supporting this mini family, the night-feeds will be my job (and my job alone) from Day 1. Of course, this would be the case anyway, it’s not like Craig can detach my boobs and get on with it without me! But all of a sudden it seems very real and very scary.
With Dexter not yet at nursery, and getting ever-more demanding throughout the day - I do worry I might see a resurgence of PND too. I also really worry about how my little man will cope with sharing me… and how I will cope being shared! I have this mental image of Mini Madam latching on and Dexter emerging into the room with various treasures he’s managed to collect from around the house - bleach, knives, and scissors… Of course these things are usually locked away, but what if I’m exhausted and get careless, or if Dexter develops telekinesis due to abandonment issues???
In other news, I’m positively ravenous. The odd cherry bakewell and satsuma doesn’t touch the sides anymore. I’ve read that an 11lb weight gain is typical in the third trimester but if this carries on I’m likely to surpass that and eventually require air-lifting to the hospital!
We also saw our gorgeous daughter in 3D this week. Craig managed to get a sneak peek too, in-between liberating various medical instruments from Dexie’s clutches throughout the scan. We counted all her toes and fingers and all the right bits were in the right places… including her girlie bits. This was such a relief. There was however bad news to come.
It seems my wonky belly button is due to Mini Madam chilling in just the one side of my belly. My placenta is wedged in beside her and she’s largely confined to my left hand side. Her feet are also wedged in beside her ears in all the tell-tale signs of another extended breech situation. What are the chances???
So it seems I have yet another Tom Daley wannabe lounging in my tummy. Dexter adopted exactly the same position throughout my first pregnancy and it ended with a failed ECV and a ruptured placenta. On my first day of maternity leave I bled out in my living room and had to call an ambulance. Dexter was delivered by emergency c-section a matter of hours later.
Of course there’s a slim chance baby could do a few somersaults and get into position before D Day - but there’s not much room in there for her to pull out such gymnastic feats. Of course I’ll be offered another ECV to try and poke and prod her over-and-under. But I’m beginning to think it would be selfish of me to even attempt this. An ECV might seem like the safest option, but I’ve seen firsthand what happens when it goes wrong. The thought of her getting tangled in my umbilical cord, or kicking my placenta to bits and compromising her ability to get those vital nutrients, frightens me more than the prospect of yet another c-section.
Of course I’m really reveling in the ‘what if’s’ here, but I’m still disappointed and worried. I had been really excited about the prospect of giving birth naturally and it’s sad to think I won’t be able to experience this. I also worry about whether my body will be able to cope with another pregnancy after this.
I’m off to see my midwife tomorrow - seems we have lots to talk about…
