What you need in your wardrobe whilst dieting

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Dieting? Here are my top picks from ESPRIT that’ll help show off your progress, even if you’re in-between sizes.

A casual look at my Facebook feed tells me I’m not the only one on a weight loss mission this January. Last year I got totally fed up of bumping into school friends and having them not recognise me, zips breaking, and having to suck in my tummy when I pull up my jeans. So as of Jan 1st I popped myself on a diet, cobbled together from things I’ve seen on the telly, Buzzfeed and protein powder adverts. Somehow it’s seen me drop some 14lbs already and I feel pretty good; My thighs are no longer rubbing together, and my third chin has disappeared. My tummy is no longer bloated, and supported by some shapewear, actually looks flat to the casual observer.

Despite this weight loss, I’m still suffering from phantom weight. That’s to say, I look in the mirror and still see the lumps and bumps that were there before I started. Although my clothes are falling down and I’ve clearly dropped a dress size, given I’ve another to go, I’m a bit to loathe to hit the shops and buy a new wardrobe that will most likely be too big in six months time.

So I’ve popped together a few looks that will support me throughout my dress size transition. From dresses that will cling flatteringly to a size 14, then skim reassuringly over a 12, to oversized jumpers, and belted trench coats that’ll see you through the fat days and skinnier ones.

Navy

Featured (all from ESPRIT): Lace & chiffon day dress (navy) £69 / (Body con block dress) Sundresses £55 (mixed blue) / Chiffon mini dress with trumpet sleeves (navy. dotty) £55 / Fitted sweatshirt dress, Bouclé £39 (in grey blue) / Stretchy denim dress with a flared skirt £59

When I was carrying the extra poundage, I lived in black. Now, having dropped a dress size, I’m feeling a little braver. I’m not quite ready for white jeans, body suits and boob tubes (more’s the pity), but I am loving navy at the moment. It can be dressed up and down, and accessorised with brights when I’m feeling particularly confident.

When it comes to dresses when dieting, it’s a great time to experiment with different hem length. Top pick for me is therefore this super cute poka dot chiffon dress from ESPRIT. The floaty material skims over lumpy hips and thighs, with full length trumpet sleeves to both cover your upper arms, and help create the illusion they are perfectly proportioned. Throw in the little belt to adjust the waist as the weight comes off, and you have a perfect little number that looks equally great on the school run as it does on date night.

If your arms are toned but you’re currently battling with excess stomach fat, the lacey number above is also incredibly flattering. The full length flared skirt will do all the right things to your legs and thighs, with an oversized belt to hide away your wobbly tum. Throw on a shawl at night, with coordinating heels, and you’re good for any after work occasion - or team with a cardi and knee high boots to add a touch of glamour when ferrying the kids to and from after-school clubs - who said cocktail dresses were just for weddings!. Check it out here.

Pink

Featured (all from ESPRIT): Ruffle top (mixed) £29 / Long sleeve top (bardot peplum) £25 / Fine-knit jumper with frilled sleeves (baby pink) £39 / Trenchcoat (light blue) £99 / Mac (baby pink) £99 / Lace overlay top (black) £29 / Oversized jumper (white/black) £29 / Blazer (black) £ 55.00

It’s all very well buying the perfect dress, but the wind has literally just torn down a fence panel in my back garden. The fact is, just when you’re slimming down and need encouragement from mums at the school gate, you’re layered up with hats, scarves and heavy winter jackets that do nothing to show off your flatter stomach. In short, you need a tailored raincoat that nips in at the waist.

I’m loving this baby pink mac with drawstring waist and oversized hood for everyday. Perfect with jeans, it’ll offer you enough protection from the rain whilst showing off all your hard work. If you’re still a bit unsure your bum and thighs, the pale blue trench coat above is available in a variety of sizes and colours to lift your outfit into spring when winter eventually clears off and leaves us all alone!

Light cotton mix sweaters, with sleeve details and ruffles also help draw attention away from areas that still need work. By adding a little fluff and frill to your boobs and shoulders, it forces the eye out then back in, showcasing any lost inches. Even better, as you drop a dress size, these same tops will get slightly more free-fitting, making them bang on trend for summer evenings.

In conclusion. there’s no reason to put yourself on a shopping ban if you’re dieting. A pretty new dress, statement sweater, or to-die-for coat will give you the motivation to push on through to your goal weight, so try not to deny yourself the odd treat.

The Vagina Monologues

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I’m not hip. I live in jeans, riding boots and whatever top needs least ironing when I get dressed. This is a by-product of parenthood and nothing to do with disinterest; I know what the cool kids are wearing, I just don’t think any of it would look good draped over a ketone-swilling, stretch mark-ridden 33 year-old.

Living on the doorstep of a secondary school, I see more than my fair share of teenage girls. School uniforms haven’t changed much - except we wore platforms and they seem to favour brogues, and their skirts flare out more at the hips (although are no less short!). The sixth formers however have swapped the late 90s garb for something far more radical. Whereas we lived in whatever River Island spun out that year, internet retailers have transformed the way our children style themselves.

around-the-teenagers-bag-black-blue-brown-Favim.com-404707

Most of it passes me by easily enough - some of it I even make a mental note of (if I could find a non-lycra version in size 16… ) - but these super short loose-cuff hotpants really grind my gears.

I don’t mind short - I rolled up my school skirt like every other kid at school - and I’m not fazed by the odd flash of bum cheek either. When I had a killer body in the 90s, I slipped on the odd outfit that made my mum cringe. Bums, tums and boobs are one thing, flashing your labia is another entirely.

On a routine trip to Sainsbury’s last week, I saw something that scared the living hell out of me. It made my ovaries clench even tighter than Hilary Clinton’s dental work. I saw a young girl, no older than 16, with shorts that even Jodie Marsh back in her hey-day would have passed up. I’m assuming they were worn backwards or stretched to hell, as these flashed parts of this girl that only her gynaecologist should see. The absence of knickers was even more frightening.

The worst part? Her own mother appeared to be shopping with her. I mean, what the actual hell?? If a teenage Heidi trudged down the stairs in something that indecent, I’d be up in her wardrobe faster than a tramp on chips.

This girl was literally floating past the fruit and veg aisle, fingering wares and chatting ostensibly with her mum, whilst showing teenage lads, dads and grannies her bits. This wasn’t a wardrobe malfunction, her mother seriously needs a head wobble and a social worker.

I could go on all day about this, but to what end?

In all seriousness, I just urge parents everywhere to give even the most cursory glance at your teen before they stage-left your home. I’m all for freedom of expression, even sexual expression, and I don’t shock easily - but this… this was something else.

 


The best mud-stomping boots for mums on a mission

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So it’s February and we can finally say good riddance to winter. Who else is overjoyed?

Just think, an end to picking the kids up as the sun is fading. An end (hopefully) to frozen pavements and pot hole puddles that have claimed more than their fair share of backsides over the last few months. An end to runny noses and phelgmy coughs that just won’t quit.

We no longer have to avoid playgrounds due to dangerous wet play equipment - so those days spent entertaining your kids at home are gratefully coming to an end - I must admit I’m sick of scrubbing crayon from my walls or plucking googley eyes from the carpet (thanks for that Mr Maker). Getting out the door will no longer take the best part of an hour either - the kids won’t be swathed in eleventy billion layers, and you’ll no longer need to bribe your child to wear hats and gloves by delving into your personal chocolate stash.

Yep. Spring is upon us and I can’t wait! Spring means a life out of my front door. Endless adventures in the woods with the kids - tracking Gruffalo, puddle jumping and getting muddy. I don’t mind mud, I just seriously resent braving sub zero temperatures to play in it!

So now we’re all busily stashing our thermals and cosy sweatpants away, what staples do we need to be ready for all occasions this spring?

Transitioning from winter to spring is all about jeans tucked into statement boots. Team these with waxed, quilted or vinyl hunting jackets, shirts and ear muffs for an effortless mum-on-a-mission look that’s perfect for any and every pursuit.

SpringJackets

Clockwise (left to right): BARBOUR MONTEVIOT WAX JACKET from BEST IN THE COUNTRY £219 / ORIGINAL VINYL ZIP-FRONT COAT from HUNTER was £160, now £80 / MARCHESA SLIM FIT QUILTED JACKET from JOULES £95 / COAST WATERPROOF HOODED JACKET from JOULES £79.95

I love wax jackets for an authentic hunting look but unstructured vinyl can look equally care-free for spring-time jaunts. Want a splash of colour? Head to Joules and check out this season’s raincoats for pops of yellow, pink and green that look great against denim. Finally, farmer’s quilting is around for another season if you crave warmth yet want a casual spring time look.

Jackets sorted, here are some of the best mud-stomping boots for mums on the go.

BrantanoBoots

Clockwise (left to right): LOTUS COVE ANKLE BOOTS from BRANTANO was £80 now £40 / UGG MADDOX BOOTS from SOLETRADER was £179 now £129.99 / EMILIO LUCA X RED UTILTY BOOTS from BRANTANO was £44.99 now £34 / WRANGLER CREEK II ANKLE BOOTS from BRANTANO was £75 now £65 / UGG EVERGLAYDE BOOTS from SOLETRADER was £189 now £149

If you have longer legs, opt for ankle boots and short jackets to make the most of your assets. I love fur lined boots for extra support and a textured look. Brantano surpassed themselves with their boots last season and currently have a buy-one-get-one-half-price offer on, making them fabulous value for money. A little more to spend? You can’t beat traditional UGGs - they’re a pain to clean though so maybe stick to paths!

KneeHigh

Left to right: TIBBI BLOCK HEEL BOOTS from DUNE was £130 now £99 / TIBBLE RIDING BOOTS from DUNE was £129 now £99 / VIVVI DOUBLE BUCKLE BOOT from DUNE was £129 now £99

If you have shorter legs and want to hide chunky calves, opt for knee high boots in traditional brown or black. Dune have some great deals in their winter sale at the moment - just remember to make allowances for your calf width and opt for Chelsea styles that can stretch to accommodate you.

Wellies

Clockwise (left to right): ORIGINAL REFINED GLOSS WELLINGTON BOOTS from HUNTER £105 / ORIGINAL REFINED BACK STRAP WELLINGTON BOOTS from HUNTER / JOULES WELLY PRINT BOOTS from SOLETRADER / TALL ADJUSTABLE SWEET PEA WELLIES from ROCKFISH was £74.99 now £59.99

Although we’re celebrating an end to winter, those April showers can still catch you out. You’ll still need some go-to wellies for puddle jumping and umbrella days. I can’t be expected to talk about wellies without including the Master of Wellington Boots, Hunter - so I haven’t. If you haven’t got a pair, buy some. They last forever, are supremely comfortable and will stay bang-on-trend for years to come. The older they are, the better. Vintage Hunter’s still fetch a tidy sum on Amazon.

If you want something more fun, Joules have some funky colourways and flowery designs, as do Rockfish who will be pushing out some two tone boots next season.

So there you have it. What will you be wearing in the next few months?

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