Elective Cesarean Section

My final guest post this week is bought to you by Collette from We’re Going on an Adventure. She blogs all about life with her husband Dave, and two gorgeous children Ben & Chloe. I’m eternally grateful for this post as it’s a very honest account of how it feels to have birth planning go awry. As we’re both currently pregnant (even though she’s streaks ahead of me with baby number 3 due in November) and both have C-sections booked, this post is very close to me right now. This is the reality of birthing when there are mitigating factors - it’s emotional, refreshingly honest, and a bit of a departure from her usual funny style. I love her for letting me host it and wish her every success with the birth of baby 3. I’ll be glued to her blog to find out how it goes (and gush over those precious newborn pictures!) and I hope you will be too.

I’m one of those people who likes a good list, I like to be organised and I like to know what’s happening. For some reason I didn’t feel quite the same about birth and knew that I needed to be relaxed about it and go with the flow a bit more. I knew what I didn’t want (home or water births really held no appeal) and I knew what I did want – natural labour, minimum drugs (of course) but I also knew that I had little control over that and that as long as baby came out healthy nothing else really mattered. I never bothered to write a birth plan as I just saw that as setting myself up to be disappointed. I spoke at length to my husband about how I wanted things to go and what his role was to be and that was as far as the planning went. Just as well really because what I ended up with was pethidine, an epidural and eventually an emergency C-section. Much as I was disappointed to have had the C-section I knew it was the right thing for me and Ben at the time, I didn’t have a choice in the matter and that made it easier to accept.

Second time round and I really wanted to attempt the VBACs. Again I didn’t bother with the birth plan just discussed with my consultant and husband that I didn’t want another C-section. I really wanted to give birth naturally etc etc. When the time came and I ended up being induced early I had to just take it as it came – which in the end wasn’t very well. Two days of attempting to induce via balloon catheter (hideous thing) and pessary ended up in another emergency C-section (whilst it was classed as an emergency because it wasn’t planned, I must stress there was nothing particularly urgent about it). Because the decision was taken the night before that I would be having the C-section I was able make it clear how I wanted things to go – for example that this time I wanted my baby delivering onto my chest rather than whisked away and brought back to Dave. I really wanted Dave in there while I was having the spinal as that was the one bit I found really frightening – but they wouldn’t allow it. My second C-section, whilst not what I wanted, was definitely a better experience. I was however left with this nagging feeling that maybe I could have given birth naturally if I’d fought harder, if I’d made them wait – but then at the same time I was being induced for good reason so who was I to argue.

So now to the imminent arrival of number 3. I was always told that if I had anymore children it would automatically be by C-section. I pretty much accepted that but over the last few months I’ve been told more than once that actually that’s not always the case now and that if I wanted to try and give birth naturally they would support me in that – however this was always tempered with the information that a) they wouldn’t allow me to be induced and b) they wouldn’t allow me to go over due (or in fact probably reach my due date). So effectively for me to give birth naturally baby needs to decide to come early and then who’s to say I wouldn’t end up with a C-section anyway and a whole heap of disappointment in another “failed” attempt. In the end I’ve pretty much accepted that I will be having a planned section (I refuse to call it elective as that suggests a choice and really I don’t have one). My section is booked, I know the date Beak will be here and that feels really strange. If for any reason this baby decides it would rather make its entrance slightly early I will go with that, I will let labour progress under the watchful eyes of the professionals and see what happens but I know in all likelihood that this baby is coming out of “the sunroof”.

I feel cheated that I’ve never been able to experience a natural birth but I appreciate that with Ben I was at least able to experience labour, I know what it feels like to have my waters break in the middle of the night and to suffer the contractions for hours on end. I won’t ever get to feel the elation of having pushed my own baby out but really, in the scheme of things what does it matter? I have two happy, healthy children who don’t care a jot how they came into the world. I think I’m probably more nervous about this section than I have been in the past but that’s because I know its coming – I’ve never had chance to worry about it before!

I would be really interested to know if you made a birth plan, whether it was helpful and indeed whether you were actually able to stick to it or not?

To find out more about Collette and her family (and indeed follow her latest pregnancy!) beyond her blog, you can connect with her on the following social media accounts:

Twitter –@Lollinski

Facebook - We’re Going on an Adventure

Pinterest – Collette - We’re Going on an Adventure

Thursday last week we had our first midwife appointment for our brand new bump. It was our first time meeting her as we’ve changed doctors surgeries since having Dexter. I suspect she was probably running a little late as we were called in a good half an hour late into the appointment, which meant the session was mostly ‘all business’. Adding to the sense of urgency was the fact that we had Dexie with us. Before we even went into the appointment, he’d been behind the front desk chatting up the receptionists, following strangers into doctor’s rooms for their appointments, routing through stranger’s handbags in the waiting room… he just wants to explore everything at the moment and has one of those cheeky faces that means he gets away with murder.

In the waiting room, he had a right time of it, crawling over the midwife’s scales, pulling urine sample pots out of her drawers, and inventing new uses for her blood pressure cuff. Craig and I struggled to keep an eye on him and natter to the midwife at the same time. Lesson learnt - maybe we’ll grab a sitter next time.

Our midwife was really lovely - chatty but informative. She gave Dexter a cuddle when it was time to leave which was a relief - he clearly hadn’t given too bad an account of himself.

We received our (rather disappointing) Bounty Pack and set of notes, and briefly discussed the plan for the next 30 weeks. Due to high BMI count and Dexter contracting Strep B in his first few weeks she mentioned the likelihood of an “Elective” C-Section but reassured us that nothing was set in stone at this stage. She also managed to fit in all our blood tests so we wouldn’t have to make any additional appointments before our scan date. It was all very easy and we’re pleased we changed doctors surgeries to get access to a community midwife.

Of course there are a few disappointments. Due to time constraints, we weren’t able to test to hear baby’s heartbeat. Given this is our second pregnancy, we won’t see her again until week 16 so have a long wait to hear it! I also didn’t make big enough deal out of my morning sickness in my opinion so we’ll need to book in a session with the GP if I decide I need anti-sickness medication.

In a bid to provide more reassurance things are going well, we’ve gone ahead and booked a private scan for this Thursday to finally answer the question of whether this is twins or not. Hopefully we’ll leave that appointment feeling a little more ‘pregnant’ and excited. As we’re off on holiday in a few weeks time, we’ll have plenty of time to sit around the pool to get our heads around the c-section issue. Our hospital doesn’t routinely offer VBAC’s (particularly given the other risks mentioned above) so we might well have to fight for a natural birth if we want one.

I think we’ve reached a turning point this week. I feel less stressed and anxious, but also less connected to this pregnancy. It doesn’t feel very real and I regularly forget I’m even pregnant at all - I nearly ordered wine at a restaurant this weekend! When pregnant with Dexter, I kept a notebook on my bedside table and Craig and I rarely discussed anything else. This pregnancy started off the same, but seems to have tapered somewhat. Compared to last time, the midwife appointment was anti-climatic. It all went smoothly, but that bubble of excitement was missing. Given we’ve worked so hard to create this new life, and can’t wait until he or she gets here, the pregnancy itself feels less chaotic and (dare-I-say-it) fascinating.

Did anyone else feel like this second time around?