These past few months have been hectic to say the least. We’ve made some huge life decisions, some have worked out, others not so well. We uprooted the children and moved 25 miles away from their friends, their school and the wider family - taking my mum with us for a new life in Thatcham, Berkshire.
The motivation was simple. Mum was ill and needed looking after, and we couldn’t afford to buy a house on our own. Berkshire is one of the most expensive counties in the UK, and our little money pot needed a serious cash injection to get us onto the property ladder. Combining our resources seemed like a plan that would work for everyone.
Yet this move hasn’t been without its challenges.
Firstly we had to jump through several hoops to secure a solicitor to represent our interests, and mums. We were grilled by the police, and my mum was forced to undertake a dementia assessment. Clearly, we all passed our respective trials, but we lost several properties throughout the process, and went through unbelievable stress as a result. The kids saw us fall out, cry, and spend days in bed having exhausted ourselves. It was a tough ride and at times, none of us were sure it would happen. The kids spent months in perpetual limbo - not knowing if we were leaving their friends, or not.
When the news came that we could exchange, it was sudden. Nothing was packed, and we hadn’t secured a van, nor school places for the children at the other end. To top it all off the weather forecast was awful and we couldn’t tempt many family members to pitch in and help. To empty and merge two family houses into one, in one day, was hellish. The day of the move we didn’t sit down all day, and everyone was incredibly emotional, in fact, we had no energy to empty boxes at the other end for days.
But we’ve done it.
The kids are now happily settled at school, and mum is gradually settling into her new surroundings. And best of all, we finally have a family home to call our own.
Decorating has been eventful and there’s still tons to do (expect lots of posts on this over the next few months) - but rooms are slowly taking shape and becoming spaces we can proud of. We have grand plans here too, with a loft conversion, outside office/gym and a huge kitchen extension in the pipeline when finances permit. I doubt this will be our forever home, but it will be my mum’s so we’ve no plans to leave here anytime soon.
Caring for mum has been the hardest adjustment to make. She’s deteriorated so much since I last lived with her (admittedly this was some 20 year ago), and we doubt she can be left to her own devices for longer than a day. This will mean family vacations will require serious planning and will be few and far between for the foreseeable future. It’s tough but rewarding and we hope she can see how hard we’re trying to make this work for all of us. I know she’s struggled with the transition and it’s hard seeing her so sad in a new town without her friends around her.
It’s definitely time to relax now, and try and adjust to this new life. But I will still be posting, and sharing as much as I can.
Has it been worth it?
Definitely. But oh my days, I didn’t think it would be this tough!
