Tag Archives: Vibrator

Feb 18 2016

Was Valentine’s Day a Letdown? Say HellOoo to Smilemakers

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Self-Love

It’s no secret that my kids aren’t the only one in this house with a stash of toys. I don’t think I could handle the stress of my two munchkins without a spot of me-time, and Craig and I both share the view that an intimate knowledge of our own bodies has resulted in a happy and fulfilling sex life together. We’re not randy buggers (I wish!) but we have managed to make two beautiful babies and are breezing through 5 year itch territory with no problems (*nods appreciatively at her bulging knicker drawer*).

I’m well aware that I can count a handful of mums from the school gate as sometime readers of my blog, and this doesn’t bother me at all. Like me, they’re rushing home to a mountain of washing up when they say goodbye to their children, I just happen to sometimes chose some duvet time over a coffee at 10.30am. Then it’s onto a punishing routine of running this blog, housework and scrubbing crayon off the walls! Nothing extraordinary about life within this home, I can assure you!

So when Smilemakers recently got in touch and asked me if I’d like to review a few of their new friendly vibrators, I naturally said yes. I loved their branding from the off, and am furiously nodding at their mission statement:

SmilemakersQ

YES! This encapsulates everything I’ve tried to say above. In my opinion, backed up by many of my friends, masturbation is a wonderful thing. It’s an attitude I wouldn’t be adverse to my children sharing when they’re older, respecting their privacy etc. I would much rather they learned about their bodies themselves rather than have it explored by someone else before they’re comfortable!

There are tons of hidden benefits to self-pleasuring too. Sexual wellbeing and overall wellbeing is intuitively linked. Doctors also point out that a healthy sex life (be that on your own or with a partner) means better health. An orgasm will release endorphins and oxytocin which trigger positive feelings not only affecting confidence and how beautiful you feel, but also how beautiful you look - as if you needed any more convincing…

KFQUOTE

So you’re onboard - Come meet the dream team!

In short - Smilemakers have really impressed me with their vibrators. They’re non-intimidating, battery-operated (for convenience) and made from sleek-looking silicone in pastel pallettes. With names like The Frenchman, The Tennis Coach, The Millionaire and The Fireman, they’re about far as you can get from menacing looking dildos or gawdy neon “rabbits”. This spoke to me straight away. I might have a mini collection at home, but I don’t have many big boys here. I’m lucky enough to have Craig for when I need a ‘fuller’ experience, and appreciate that 90% of women will prefer clitoral stimulation for a quick solo afternoon session. I guess you could say, I’d rather have a chicken salad than a mixed grill at lunch.

SmileMakers_massagers_product-and-package_02

This puts Smilemakers range on a par with Lelo’s bullet vibrators; small, discrete and well, friendly-looking. Yet Smilemakers have gone one step further, they’ve directly catered for those of us who prefer stimulating externally with two tongue simulators in their range. Funnily enough there aren’t many of these on the market, especially at the under £30 mark, so this appealed straight away. It’s these two I’ve reviewing below.

What did I make of them?

Like all the range, these two bad boys require 1x AAA battery and are reported to give up to 4 hours of continuous fun (chance would be a fine thing!), which is great for convenience sake although it would be good to have one included. Simply untwist the base, pop it in and they’re ready for action. I’m also impressed how all of the range have 4 speeds + pulsation - just tap on the base to move up or down a gear. This puts them in the “multi-mood” camp for me - suitable for both cheeky 5 minute thrills, or longer sessions with (or without) Craig.

Smile Makers Collection (Group 2) Mid-res

They’re made from super smooth waterproof cryogenically polished (phthalates-free) silicone with no harsh seams to catch you out. Believe it not, I’ve thrown toys away for seams before - there’s no excuse for it and it’s my pet hate. Rather these offer an incredibly soft experience, both in and out of the bath, and are a cinch to keep clean.

Noise-wise, I’d give them a 9/10. At just 40dB, in a silent house hubby won’t hear them from downstairs, but you’ll still hear a tiny buzz when operating them. This makes them a great option for foreplay where you’d rather hear each other than your shop-bought playmates (it won’t wake the kids either - bonus!).

Enough skirting about, how did they perform?

THE FIREMAN (The pink one)

I like him. He was able to bring me where I wanted to go in a matter of minutes and has become my go-to buddy when Craig is unavailable. The whole thing vibrates rather than just the tip, making it super versatile and I like the fact the speed setting is far away from the bit I’m “in the moment with” so it doesn’t interrupt what I’m doing. When on a higher setting, the tongue bit will vibrate away offering a super sensitive experience. I’d happily recommend this as an entry level vibe, or one for the pros who need something a little less intense.

I’m still waiting on the ultimate, that’s to say a vibrator with this head, but a non-moving/vibrating shaft, so you can truly relax without tell-tale buzzing hands - but this is where it slots in nicely with Craig’s and my bedroom antics as I’m not operating him.

THE FRENCHMAN (The blue one)

I don’t want to criticise this vibrator as I’m still overjoyed it’s out to stimulate the bit we all want it to. I just think it’s built for someone else. After some careful maneuvering I still got “there”, I just think The Fireman is able to whisk me there quicker. I’m putting this down to the shape of the head which, whilst still super flexible, will move around less.

That said, this is Craig’s favourite as he likens it more to himself so he finds it easier to operate - no complaints from me on this score! It’s made a cameo on a few date nights with Craig and I but for some reason I’m very conscious I can’t relax with it on my own. Again, it would be great for first timers who want to try something new, but also for couples who want to spice things up.

In conclusion

This sums up self-pleasuring for me. We all have different preferences. Half the enjoyment is finding what’s right for you, and I’m happy to report that Smilemakers have something for every taste.

Fancy a go? Pick your man by visiting SmilermakersCollection.co.uk

Want to buy? Fabulous! They currently all have £5 off, making them £24.99 each exclusively available at Superdrug

To show a bit of support for Smilemakers mission, follow them on Instagram

 

 

Apr 1 2015

One for mum: The Mystim Electric Eric review

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I get to review so many toys for the kids, it’s pretty awesome when I get to review a toy for me!

First up, let’s hit the critics head-on…

Some of my readers might smirk that I’m happy to review an adult toy on here, but for me it’s the perfect fit. I don’t think I could handle half the stress of parenthood without me-time, and imagine this to be the same for women all over the country. Getting to grips with your body independently leads to a more healthy and fulfilled sex life and, if we’re all honest, who doesn’t want this?

Of course I’ve imagined what it will be like at nursery if another parent reads this review. Would they snigger? Well to be blunt, who cares? If they’re not one for a little light relief of an afternoon, more fool them! Craig and I are quite happy to notch up those hours in bed and ditch our iPhones for a more sociable bit of kit.

So let’s meet the Mystim Electric Eric

The Mystim Electric Eric is a rechargeable e-stim vibrator. What’s e-stim I hear you ask? Well it’s designed to be inserted inside your body so performs beyond clitoral stimulation. In fact, Eric combines tingling, pulsating, pounding and vibrating in one slick device.

You control which setting (and at which intensity) are active at any one time, meaning your vibrator has the capability to deliver both quick bursts of vibrating pleasure externally, or longer sessions via e-stim (with or without additional vibration) with your partner, or indeed yourself. Got it? Probably not, just think of it as an all-rounder. It’s got 8 vibration modes and 5 e-stim varieties plus a pelvic floor training program - Excessive? yes. But really freaking cool.

Design

Well first up, he’s a whopper:

  • Length: 9.5″
  • Insertable Length: 5.5″
  • Girth: 4.9″ at largest point
  • Width: 1.5″ at largest point

Material-wise he’s a mix of the smoothest pure medical-grade silicone (a prerequisite) and ABS plastic. This makes him 100% hypoallergenic, supremely hygienic and 100% waterproof. He’s also amazingly supple and has a bit of “give” if you give him a wobble. Ergonomically he’s shaped and proportioned similarly to LELO’s Mona so women with weeny hands might get hand-ache.

My only slight reservation here is that there is a light seam down the shaft which could get a little unpleasant if he becomes a regular bedside companion. I’d have thought this was a major no no in sex toy manufacture and am verging on disappointed to see it, but to be honest, it doesn’t affect its use.

Eric is also USB rechargable and I love the unnecessary but really novel charger magnet (it attaches to the logo on the front of the toy). He also arrives in snazzy storage case as an extra line of defense if you live with little people.

It claims to deliver 3 hours of uninterrupted use on full charge (chance would be a fine thing!) which works for us, but I have heard it contested by the pros. Charge will also weaken between sessions when not in use so I would recommend keeping him regularly topped up.

Setting him to work

Oh my. You might well need to enlist the help of an engineer for this one as there are eleventy billion buttons to get your head around. The instruction manual does its level best to help you spur him into action, but you will spend a good five minutes tweaking the intensity here and there before you find your ideal. Since you’re advised not to operate the e-stim outside of your body, this can mean you have to cycle through less preferred modes until you get to get to the good stuff - A memory setting would certainly help here.

The interface lights up in the dark for those who prefer playtime in the dark. You get three buttons for vibration and a further three for e-stim. This compromises of one to turn it on (naturally!) and cycle through modes, and plus and minus symbols to increase and decrease intensity.

Noise-wise, I’d give him a 7/10. In a silent house, hubby will hear it from downstairs - but your neighbours won’t know what you’re up to.

And so, onto the good stuff…

It goes without saying that you’ll need lube - and lots of it. The fact it takes a good five minutes of refinement before it gets pleasurable will mean your body isn’t producing the optimum environment for conduction.

And conduction is the key here - I mentioned that e-stim is designed to be used inside the body, and this is important. If only clitoral stimulation will do, even with the standalone vibration mode, this won’t be the toy for you (I’d recommend the LELO Gigi). There are two conductive plates placed strategically within the toy that will zap you much like an electric shock if you get too hung up on external play and only one plate is in contact with your skin (on the e-stim setting that is, it’s perfectly fine on vibrate-mode, but just not that effective).

It’s also well worth saying this isn’t the best toy for beginners no matter how adventurous you may think you are. It would be a little like learning to swim and attempting the English Channel. Getting to grips with what works for you is a slow and sometimes laborious process - inviting an emotionless uncommunicative gadget with more buttons than your telly to your bedroom is apt to put you off sex toys altogether.

I’ll admit to being a bit taken aback by Eric. In fact, my overwhelming thought when I opened the box was “Oh shit”. Even having put him to work several times since, I’m still a little confused as to how I feel about him. If you aren’t 100% in the mood he becomes a heady mix of frustrating and intimidating, yet when the going is good (and Craig is at the controls) you can evoke a fascinating set of sensations.

I have managed to get where I wanted several times but not without plenty of effort. Popping him in can feel a little like the beginning of a smear test when the speculum is inserted, but once he whirs into action he does manage to hit spots you might not be aware existed. I like to think it’s a neat little prep before the main event, not one for dessert.

Yet another included mode of e-stim was created specifically for kegel strengthening, precisely targeting the muscles responsible for a strong pelvic floor. This is where Electric Eric really comes into his own, and he smashes the silicone off the LELO LUNA Smart Bead I’ve reviewed before. In fact, if you mentally tell yourself this isn’t a toy and is serving a greater purpose (namely getting your kegel muscles ripe for longer orgasms, or indeed, as part of post-birth conditioning) you’re likely to get more out of it.

Where to buy? This bad boy made his way to me in discreet and robust packaging from Jo Divine - where you’ll find a veritable menagerie of adult toys to enhance play-time. The Mystim Electric Eric is currently £99.99 with free delivery.

 

 

Dec 13 2014

The LUNA Smart Bead from LELO: A Kegal trainer with a little bit more…

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I thought long and hard on how to frame this review. The LUNA Smart Bead from LELO is a real two-header - not only is it one of the smartest (and indeed revolutionary) Kegal trainers on the market, it’s also hailed as a noiseless, nifty and discreet sex toy. Do I tell you how great it is for getting your pelvic floor back to pre-birth condition? Or do I gush plentiful (BAD choice of words, but way too irresistible) about its night-time credentials?

Having given it a thorough road test I think the answer came naturally enough.

“This really is an intuitive and clever Kegal exerciser, but it’s a very average vibrator”

So what is it?

LELO’s LUNA Smart Bead is a silicone interactive Kegel exerciser. It’s a diddy little thing, (around 3 inches long), and features a robust retrieval chord. Powered off one AAA battery, and arriving in a cute silk pouch for stashing in your sock drawer, it looks every inch the slick device for the “uninitiated” woman (if you can get past the gharish colourways).

My only negative upon seeing it for the first time is that it comes with one (yes one) sachet of lube, and would have benefited from a whole tube of something special (I’d recommend Yes, or Swoon for great quality organic lubrication) so women can get off to a good start without having to nip to Boots.

The concept is simple. Turn on the Smart Bead, insert it vaginally and 3 quick pulses will alert you that the 5 minute program is about to be begin. It’ll then deliver bursts of vibration (that become longer and more intense) which you’re instructed to squeeze your Kegel muscles around for the duration of the vibration. In-between vibrations you simply rest your pelvic floor and try to forget you have a foreign object inside you. The workout is complete when it vibrates in quick succession 3 more times.

That alone is hardly a novel concept, but it does boast some seriously impressive features. Intelligent memory function remembers your progress, and automatically adjusts as your muscles strengthen over time. Each time you go to use it (it’s recommended for daily use) the light will blink between 1 and 5 times, showing you your progress (1= fairly weak, 5= pretty strong, and anywhere in between). In a round about way, this rates your orgasm potential and gives you a routine based on that the next time you use it. It even remembers how your routine is going when you change batteries.

So what let it down?

The promise of completing your exercises and treating yourself to a little me-time (your LUNA Smart Bead will also deliver static vibration) proved disappointing. The vibration is just too weak to get you where you want to go, and your fingers will quickly go numb as you try. If only it could deliver on this front as well I’d be far more likely to whip it out everyday.

More minor points would be the naff colourways (light and dark pink - where’s the black??) and the fact it isn’t rechargeable (a feature usually synonymous with Lelo’s vibrators), yet I’m having to tell continually remind myself this product has a greater purpose than joining Craig and I in bed.

Better offerings for pleasure-seekers

Want one?

At £69 it’s a fair price for a great product. You can buy direct from LELO here (I’d be willing to bet you wind up with one of the above too - the LELO Liv 2 is, perhaps inappropriately, coming my way courtesy of Santa in 2 weeks time). For more reviews, I’d recommend following them on Twitter too (@LELO_Official) as I’m not the only mummy to give this a good going over.

In conclusion, although I didn’t end up squeezing my babies out naturally, I’m all too aware of the repercussions of doing so. This is a really great idea for women who need a little extra push to stick with Kegal exercises, who need more guidance in their routine, or who would positively faint at the thought of using Kegal balls. Positioning it as a two-for-the-price-of-one gives positive reinforcement to personal stimulation which, as an advocate, sits very well with me too.

I like it LELO, but if you wanted to send me something else, Craig and I would be very happy come Christmas!

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