It’s no secret that Craig and I are trying for another baby. It’s been 8 months now, and other than our miscarriage in January, nothing. Not one late period, not one faint pink line on a pregnancy test, nothing.
As well as charting, we’ve spent a fortune on ovulation sticks, I’ve been munching away on celery sticks without hummus (I know, I know - sounds horrible right?) in a bid to shed the pounds, and Craig’s ditched his morning coffee. We’ve been getting in plenty of early nights (even after World Wars 3, 4 and 5 over whose turn it is to wash up) and I’ve even taken to downing various homeopathic concoctions that a friends’ sisters’ cousins’ friend insisted helped her when they were trying.
Having just had a appendicitis scare, I informed the the doctor in A&E who was having a poke at my tummy about our baby-making mission. As she had access to some recent ultrasounds pictures that showed I had PCOS on my left ovary, she asked how long we’ve been trying and what, if anything, we’d been doing to boost our chances (presumably in case one too many folic acid tablets had bought on the crippling pain in my lower abdomen). When I spouted off all the things we’d been up to she looked absolutely incredulous, even more so when I tipped her off that Dexter is just 13 months old. Her response, like plenty others we’ve had, was to tell me I was mad and that I might be better waiting.
These sort of comments really get on my nerves. They suggest that Craig and I haven’t really thought through our decision, or are naive to the fact it’ll be hard work having two small children. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say to Craig “It would be quite cool to have another one, don’t you think?” - we’ve discussed it hundreds of times and have hundreds of reasons why we want another baby quickly. It isn’t just the romanticised notion of them playing together and becoming best friends, it also makes financial sense to us as regards childcare choices, work responsibilities, and our plans to move to Australia.
In terms of our plans, I want to have my children here in the UK. Despite much criticism, I think our NHS has a superior approach to ante-natal care and having had Dexter here, I like the idea of knowing what to expect for baby 2. Then, having already made inroads with our plans to emigrate to Australia, it also makes perfect sense to us to get this huge move done before both children reach school age. We feel it’ll be easier to uproot younger children who aren’t already in the school system, and won’t be too traumatized over moving away from the wider family.
As it’s likely that in Australia I’ll be more marketable than Craig in terms of work opportunities, we need to ensure that I won’t be taking anymore maternity leave when I have my feet under a desk. This means we’re keen to get the chaos of the early years over in one fell swoop so I can then dedicate all my attention on my career. Until then, I get to spend lots of time nurturing my babies and enjoying the early years. It all makes perfect sense.
Having two children quickly, for us, has never been in doubt. In fact, we’re so convinced it’s right for us that I refused to talk to a midwife about contraception following Dexter’s birth. Yep, laid up in the recovery ward following my c-section I told her that we’d be trying again as soon as my stitches would allow us to.
We just know that when we find out that baby 2 is safely growing in my tummy that all our hard work will be worth it. Until then, I’ll be keeping my ovulation calculator bookmarked and the bathroom cupboard stocked full of tests and potions. Back-to-back pregnancy might not be for everyone, but it is for us.
Anyone else trying to get conceive at the moment? There’s some really great advice over on What to Expect’s website - everything from secondary infertility, to fertility supplements, to conception myths. It’s well worth a visit if you’re looking for balanced and practical advice about any stage of the parenting life-cycle.
