17 Weeks Pregnant (Part 2): Introducing a new Brother or Sister

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I’m pretty sure that Dex has sussed out that he has a new brother or sister coming. Strangely, I think he’s also worked out he or she is in my tummy. And here was me thinking that under 5′s are usually told that their mums and dads bought a new baby from a hospital shop, or had a secret meeting with the baby-fairy!

All the signs are pointing to the fact he knows. He’s recently become obsessed with flicking through mother & baby magazines and pointing to pictures of babies. He’ll kiss the pages, rip them out and bring them to us with the proudest look on his face.

Over the last few months, our living room has also become a student obstetrician’s paradise with tons of pregnancy books scattered around. I’m pretty obsessed with learning about the new baby and like to follow my pregnancy week by week. One of these books is heavily pictorial and has become a firm favourite with my little man. He’ll stare for hours at pictures of pregnant women (…obviously we’ve got our fingers crossed this isn’t the start of a lifelong fetish!).

Although he can’t talk yet, Dexter is able to understand basic commands. “Where’s Daddy?” will see him searching out Craig, and “Up the wooden hill for Bedfordshire” (a.k.a up the stairs to bed) will result in him hiding behind the sofa. Now, when we say “Where’s the baby?” he’ll lift up his shirt and rub his belly! Whenever my own belly is out he’ll bend over and kiss it too. The only explanation I can think of is that his choice of reading matter has prompted the connection between my bump and a baby. At just 18 months, I’m now thinking I have an utter genius on my hands.

Finally, he’s become very loving over the past few months. Previously you’d have to pin him down for a cuddle and he’d wriggle free in minutes. He’d kiss you occasionally but he wouldn’t seek it out - it would always be as a result of us bending down at an opportune moment. Now he’ll run into our arms, climb onto our laps and bat books and mobile phones out of our hands to plant a kiss on our lips. It’s an amazing and very welcome transition but I can’t help but link it to the new baby. It’s as though he knows his days as an only child (with exclusive access to us) are numbered.

Has anyone else had two babies in short amount of time, and experienced anything similar with their eldest? I’d love to hear your stories.

Linking up this week to Wot So Funnee? from the lovely Actually Mummy. If you fancy a giggle, discover more toddler antics and click the badge below to be transported straight to all this weeks posts!

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“Why would you want two in nappies?”

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It’s no secret that Craig and I are trying for another baby. It’s been 8 months now, and other than our miscarriage in January, nothing. Not one late period, not one faint pink line on a pregnancy test, nothing.

As well as charting, we’ve spent a fortune on ovulation sticks, I’ve been munching away on celery sticks without hummus (I know, I know - sounds horrible right?) in a bid to shed the pounds, and Craig’s ditched his morning coffee. We’ve been getting in plenty of early nights (even after World Wars 3, 4 and 5 over whose turn it is to wash up) and I’ve even taken to downing various homeopathic concoctions that a friends’ sisters’ cousins’ friend insisted helped her when they were trying.

Having just had a appendicitis scare, I informed the the doctor in A&E who was having a poke at my tummy about our baby-making mission. As she had access to some recent ultrasounds pictures that showed I had PCOS on my left ovary, she asked how long we’ve been trying and what, if anything, we’d been doing to boost our chances (presumably in case one too many folic acid tablets had bought on the crippling pain in my lower abdomen). When I spouted off all the things we’d been up to she looked absolutely incredulous, even more so when I tipped her off that Dexter is just 13 months old. Her response, like plenty others we’ve had, was to tell me I was mad and that I might be better waiting.

These sort of comments really get on my nerves. They suggest that Craig and I haven’t really thought through our decision, or are naive to the fact it’ll be hard work having two small children. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say to Craig “It would be quite cool to have another one, don’t you think?” - we’ve discussed it hundreds of times and have hundreds of reasons why we want another baby quickly. It isn’t just the romanticised notion of them playing together and becoming best friends, it also makes financial sense to us as regards childcare choices, work responsibilities, and our plans to move to Australia.

In terms of our plans, I want to have my children here in the UK. Despite much criticism, I think our NHS has a superior approach to ante-natal care and having had Dexter here, I like the idea of knowing what to expect for baby 2. Then, having already made inroads with our plans to emigrate to Australia, it also makes perfect sense to us to get this huge move done before both children reach school age. We feel it’ll be easier to uproot younger children who aren’t already in the school system, and won’t be too traumatized over moving away from the wider family.

As it’s likely that in Australia I’ll be more marketable than Craig in terms of work opportunities, we need to ensure that I won’t be taking anymore maternity leave when I have my feet under a desk. This means we’re keen to get the chaos of the early years over in one fell swoop so I can then dedicate all my attention on my career. Until then, I get to spend lots of time nurturing my babies and enjoying the early years. It all makes perfect sense.

Having two children quickly, for us, has never been in doubt. In fact, we’re so convinced it’s right for us that I refused to talk to a midwife about contraception following Dexter’s birth. Yep, laid up in the recovery ward following my c-section I told her that we’d be trying again as soon as my stitches would allow us to.

We just know that when we find out that baby 2 is safely growing in my tummy that all our hard work will be worth it. Until then, I’ll be keeping my ovulation calculator bookmarked and the bathroom cupboard stocked full of tests and potions. Back-to-back pregnancy might not be for everyone, but it is for us.

Anyone else trying to get conceive at the moment? There’s some really great advice over on What to Expect’s website - everything from secondary infertility, to fertility supplements, to conception myths. It’s well worth a visit if you’re looking for balanced and practical advice about any stage of the parenting life-cycle.

 

 

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