Aug 14 2013

I’m Married to Martin Lewis

Posted on August 14, 2013 by admin

I’m crap with money. Truly terrible.

When I spotted that Britmums had a new competition linky to share how you would spend a £20k lottery win, I naively thought it would be easy. I started a mental shopping list filled with designer bags, post-baby liposuction, a personal trainer, a holiday to the Maldives, an iPad, a pimped out playroom for Dexter… I had probably spent £20k three times over in just half an hour of daydreaming.

GEMMA’S PLAN - “PIMP MY PLAYROOM”

But in reality, I’d probably be so scared of the money, I’d give it to Craig. This isn’t a cheeky little £1000 that I could casually spend without telling him (“This dress? Oh I’ve had it for ages!”), £20k is a lot of money!

Although this will probably make our relationship sound incredibly old-fashioned, I’ll admit to being blissfully ignorant about the simplest of household expenses. I have no idea how much a full tank of petrol costs, what council tax band we’re in, who our house & contents insurers are, and how often a water bill lands on our welcome mat. It’s probably best I don’t know!

So not wanting to hog the imaginary money all to myself (and make a fool out of myself by listing half a dozen things that would probably total wayyy over £20k) I decided to share my win with Craig. Unfortunately, I initially forgot to tell him I hadn’t actually won any money. Naturally he got really excited and spun me around the living room! Not wanting to kill his high, I waited five minutes before telling him that the only 20 we have to spend is a crumpled note in my purse. Needless to say the conversation that followed was a little more subdued that I had initially wanted.

His answer was incredibly boring, sensible and undeniably ‘Craig’. But as mundane as his imaginary plans might sound, it is this exact reason I love him so much. He’s always thinking of our family first, it’s like being married to Martin Lewis.

CRAIG’S PLAN - “TURN THE WIFE INTO SARAH BEENEY”

Well given our emigration plans are on hold due to this new pregnancy, our first and only purchase would be a family home. With a cash injection of £20k added to our savings we would have a whopping deposit on a place to house our growing family. With that little bit more in the kitty, we could afford to buy something that needs a little work so we can create space that works for us.

Fancying myself as a bit of a Sarah Beeney (minus the hard hat and responsibility!) it sounds like lots of fun. Craig might be more financially astute out of the two of us, but I’m definitely the most practical when it comes to DIY. A plastering crash course appeals ten times more than a spa day, and I’m very handy with a paintbrush. Between the two of us we could create a great home for Dexter and Bump - and perhaps double our money in the process.

So what do you think? What would you do with a £20k windfall?

This post is an entry for BritMums #Spend20K Challenge sponsored by The National Lottery. The Lotto game is changing on 5th October, giving players more chances to win more prizes. Players will get £25 for matching 3 numbers in the draw (up from £10) and 4 numbers (from £60 to £100), and a new raffle guarantees at least 50 winners of £20,000 each draw! And the best bit? When the jackpot rolls, so does the raffle, meaning hundreds more guaranteed £20,000 prizes. Find out more about new Lotto, which starts in October, here – www.national-lottery.co.uk.

Jun 27 2013

Feeling the Pinch - The Downside to Being a SAHM

Posted on June 27, 2013 by admin

t1larg.stay .at .home .mom Feeling the Pinch The Downside to Being a SAHM

I knew when I decided not to return to work that our lifestyle would be very different to how it was before I had Dexter. There would be no more nights of drunken debauchery or shopping sprees, and we’d have to work doubly hard if we wanted any treats.

There’s no denying that money is tight here at Chez Mills at the moment. Lots of bills have gone out this month leaving precious little for Craig and I to play with. Given we’re dead set on the Australia move, we’re having to save every penny we have for legal fees. Couple this with the fact we’ll have to sell everything here in the UK and have to furnish a home from scratch over there, and it’s truly headache-inducing.

With all this going on, our kitchen is a bit ‘Old Mother Hubbarb’ (as in nothing in the cupboard). Breakfast and lunch is now toast and a cup a soup, I’m mending old clothes, and I’ve dusted down old cleansers and make-up that are at least 7 years old in a bid to save the pennies! Don’t get me wrong, Craig works hard and earns good money. We have a roof over our heads, and we still manage the odd treat, but tightening your belt is never much fun and we don’t appear to be getting anywhere quickly. With our holiday budget dissipating, I’m dreading something breaking that will need replacing.

I think the next thing to go will be our washing machine. It’s one of those with a digital display that counts down to the end of a cycle, and it seems to get stuck on 47 minutes every time we do a load. A good kick usually sorts it out, but it’s only a matter of time before it gets fed up of being abused and packs in completely.

Craig’s work van will also need upgrading soon. As he’s a courier he does approximately 35,000 miles a year and likes replacing them every 3 years. With no money put aside we’ll have to use a car financing company to fund the upgrade and it’ll be just another loan to add to a growing list.

Still, it’s not all doom and gloom. When Dexter isn’t destroying our home, he’s actually incredibly cute. We’ve become incredibly close and it’s lovely being there to see every milestone. We’re also saving on nursery fees, and I have lots of great activities lined up for him when he’s old enough to be trusted with scissors, paint and glue. I’m also able to write this blog which will be such a great scrapbook of our days spent together when he’s older.

So weighing it all up, having to downgrade my wardrobe and shop for supermarket own brands, is a very small price to pay for getting to spend my days at home with Dex. I mean, who wouldn’t want to wake up to this every morning!? But if anyone does know next week’s lottery numbers, feel free to leave me a comment!

062 Feeling the Pinch The Downside to Being a SAHM

Jun 17 2013

“Why would you want two in nappies?”

Posted on June 17, 2013 by admin

It’s no secret that Craig and I are trying for another baby. It’s been 8 months now, and other than our miscarriage in January, nothing. Not one late period, not one faint pink line on a pregnancy test, nothing.

As well as charting, we’ve spent a fortune on ovulation sticks, I’ve been munching away on celery sticks without hummus (I know, I know - sounds horrible right?) in a bid to shed the pounds, and Craig’s ditched his morning coffee. We’ve been getting in plenty of early nights (even after World Wars 3, 4 and 5 over whose turn it is to wash up) and I’ve even taken to downing various homeopathic concoctions that a friends’ sisters’ cousins’ friend insisted helped her when they were trying.

Having just had a appendicitis scare, I informed the the doctor in A&E who was having a poke at my tummy about our baby-making mission. As she had access to some recent ultrasounds pictures that showed I had PCOS on my left ovary, she asked how long we’ve been trying and what, if anything, we’d been doing to boost our chances (presumably in case one too many folic acid tablets had bought on the crippling pain in my lower abdomen). When I spouted off all the things we’d been up to she looked absolutely incredulous, even more so when I tipped her off that Dexter is just 13 months old. Her response, like plenty others we’ve had, was to tell me I was mad and that I might be better waiting.

These sort of comments really get on my nerves. They suggest that Craig and I haven’t really thought through our decision, or are naive to the fact it’ll be hard work having two small children. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say to Craig “It would be quite cool to have another one, don’t you think?” - we’ve discussed it hundreds of times and have hundreds of reasons why we want another baby quickly. It isn’t just the romanticised notion of them playing together and becoming best friends, it also makes financial sense to us as regards childcare choices, work responsibilities, and our plans to move to Australia.

In terms of our plans, I want to have my children here in the UK. Despite much criticism, I think our NHS has a superior approach to ante-natal care and having had Dexter here, I like the idea of knowing what to expect for baby 2. Then, having already made inroads with our plans to emigrate to Australia, it also makes perfect sense to us to get this huge move done before both children reach school age. We feel it’ll be easier to uproot younger children who aren’t already in the school system, and won’t be too traumatized over moving away from the wider family.

As it’s likely that in Australia I’ll be more marketable than Craig in terms of work opportunities, we need to ensure that I won’t be taking anymore maternity leave when I have my feet under a desk. This means we’re keen to get the chaos of the early years over in one fell swoop so I can then dedicate all my attention on my career. Until then, I get to spend lots of time nurturing my babies and enjoying the early years. It all makes perfect sense.

Having two children quickly, for us, has never been in doubt. In fact, we’re so convinced it’s right for us that I refused to talk to a midwife about contraception following Dexter’s birth. Yep, laid up in the recovery ward following my c-section I told her that we’d be trying again as soon as my stitches would allow us to.

We just know that when we find out that baby 2 is safely growing in my tummy that all our hard work will be worth it. Until then, I’ll be keeping my ovulation calculator bookmarked and the bathroom cupboard stocked full of tests and potions. Back-to-back pregnancy might not be for everyone, but it is for us.

Anyone else trying to get conceive at the moment? There’s some really great advice over on What to Expect’s website - everything from secondary infertility, to fertility supplements, to conception myths. It’s well worth a visit if you’re looking for balanced and practical advice about any stage of the parenting life-cycle.