Tag Archives: Bump Shot

Mar 4 2014

33 Weeks Pregnant & Lemonade Gets me All Excited

Posted on by

As I’ll be 38 weeks as March disappears into April, I think by then I’ll have served my time. So this weekend Mini Madam had her eviction notice well and truly served.

Week 33 was an interesting one. MM has shifted on upwards and is now (crucially) off my sciatic nerve. This has meant, for the first time since January, I am now able to zip up my own boots. I also had a bit of wind a few days ago (I can now safely put this down to the entire 2 litre bottle of lemonade I consumed whilst catching up on One Born Every Minute) which saw me frantically googling labour pains and repacking my hospital bag with excitement bordering on hysteria. Needless to say, a few burps later and the panic was over.

33 weeks bump 33 Weeks Pregnant & Lemonade Gets me All Excited

It’s getting difficult to do basic things and I had to call Craig to help me shave my legs a few days ago. I figured it was this or potentially go into labour looking like a PG Tips chimp. Given most of the midwives at my local hospital went to school with me and could blackmail me on Facebook, I couldn’t face the shame.

Speaking of Facebook - I’m dropping from people’s timelines like no ones business. I’m learning the hard way that first babies are big news, second babies are timeline-clutter. I toyed with the idea of running a mini competition to guess Mini Madam’s weight, but I’m guessing I’d get an embarrassingly small number of comments that would send my pregnancy hormones into overdrive.

The deliveries were thick and fast last week and the guy from UPS began to look more and more haggard with each new parcel he lugged up the hill to my front door. Our bednest is now in place and ready for it’s new tenant, and we’re drowning in clothes and blankets that haven’t found their way to drawers yet. The whole operation resembles a stockroom at Babies R Us. Everything is still wrapped in cellophane and looking too new and perfect. Nothing like our actual home which looks like Dexter has invited around 30 of his playmates for a messy play soiree. I’m just too exhausted and ‘wide’ to do any housework.

This week (34) is the biggie. We’re off to see the consultant on Thursday (imagine a less jovial Anne Hegerty from The Chase, and you’re not far off!) who will scan me for the final time to determine Mini Madam’s position. If she’s still breech, there’s little that can be done. I suspect my consultant will still try to push the ‘cheaper’ VBAC option and advise me to spend the next few evenings ‘dipping my hips’ and contorting like a member of Spelbound. But Craig and I will pull the plug at this point and insist on a date for an elective Cesarian. I’m too anxious about this birth to leave it to chance.

Right now my guess is that she’ll defy all odds and be head-down by Thursday. This will send me into an entirely new panic and force me to discover a whole new world of Ugly - perineal massages, tweaking nipples and birthing balls… Oh the joy.

 

Feb 19 2014

31 Weeks Pregnant

Posted on by

… And I’ve had enough. In fact, I’m counting down the days until I can serve Mini Madam with an eviction notice without being seen to be willing on prematurity. The thought of another 9 weeks (2+ months!) of swollen hips, uncontrollable moodiness, and cries of “Ooompf” when I accidentally stomach crunch my little girl, seems like nothing short of punishment.

Dex 31 Weeks Pregnant

It’s taking sooo long, even Dexter needed reminding.

Now all my final appointments are booked, there’s nothing to do but wait. In a few short weeks, we’ll discover how this birth plan is going to play out and whether April will see #Labour tweets and unsightly pictures of me flailing around on a birthing ball from inside the Royal Berks Hospital.

My once pert little bump is now a sagging lump like an old sofa cushion riding low on my pelvis, and I’m now kicking myself that I didn’t undergo hypnotherapy to kick my cherry bakewell habit in the first trimester. This has bought on a relatively new phenomena for me - stretchmarks. In fact my belly now looks like the glaze on a loaf of tiger bread. No amount of smothering myself in Bio Oil seems to shift them and I’m slowly facing up to the fact that my bikini days are now definitely over.

SPD and sciatica continue to plague me at each at every waking moment. I’m getting by on around 4 hours sleep at night and as many naps as Dexter will allow. I’m definitely struggling to switch off as the pressure to get our 52 name shortlist down to 10 heats up. This insomnia is real problem and I’m positively hideous to be around. I’ve caught Craig camping out in the kitchen a few times and his eyes will widen in fear if I go within 3 metres of him.

When I’m not being as evil and cynical as Katie Hopkins, I’m usually crying at something ridiculous on the television. Coverage of the floods on the news, the sheer offensiveness of Mister Maker’s theme tune, or the GB curling team at the Sochi Winter Olympics… yes curling. What has my life come to?

31 weeks 31 Weeks Pregnant

Preparations for baby’s arrival are still woefully underfunded. With not one but two insurance claims put in this week (one a result of a nasty car accident) we’re berating ourselves for not having attacked the January sales with more ferocity. She now has a bath, and all the furniture she needs, and I’m delighted that she’ll be spending her first few month in an NCT bedside crib courtesy of Bednest, but she’s looking set to be a right exhibitionist as we haven’t bought her a single sleepsuit or babygrow. My breastfeeding ambitions better go to plan too as there are no bottles in the kitchen cupboard either > This is all a little woe-is-me isn’t it? We’re not as poor as I make out, but it certainly feels like it sometimes.

I was very close to reneging on the No Pink rule this week too. Having had my head turned by a seriously cute Laura Ashley print, I very nearly abandoned the grey and yellow nursery theme in favour of chintzy flowers. Thankfully Craig caught me just as the mouse cursor hovered over the checkout button and he gave me a stern talking to. I can now safely say I’m back on track and thinking rationally again.

So that’s it. This is the person I am at 31 weeks pregnant. Please tell me it gets quicker from here on in - Please, please, please.

 

Jan 22 2014

27 Weeks Pregnant!

Posted on by

So at 27 weeks pregnant, I finally caved and hit the sales in a bid to get ready for Mini Madam’s arrival. Having sorted out all Dexter’s old babygros I think we were both a little embarrassed how stained and stretched they were! So we had a mass binning session and charity shop dump last weekend to make room for baby. Her nursery is now crammed with tiny dresses and rompers which has made things feel a little more real. We still have a long way to go though and are short on blankets, bedding, and little places for her to chill out (rockers and swings etc). If you spot any bargains, or have any recommendations - do chuck me the links as I need all the help I can get!

Baby Clothes 27 Weeks Pregnant!

Name choices have also been coming thick and fast this week and we now have a A3 sheet of paper covered with ‘possibles’ strung up in the bathroom… not the traditional place I know, but I figure it’s the best place for Craig to have a little ‘think’. Far from shying away from the oldie-worldly names, Craig has perhaps embraced the idea a little too much and I’ve spotted some truly awful ones being secretly scrawled onto the list. I have a feeling I’ll have a fight on my hands to get her a name she won’t hate us for when she’s older.

Thankfully the morning sickness has flared only once this week, but sciatica strikes every few hours. I’ve dug out my old bump bands and have given up attempting to walk gracefully. Taking my boots off after a trip out now resembles a yoga move with lots of grunting and swearing for dramatic effect. The overall effect is a little like I’m trying to make Team GB’s Weightlifting squad for Rio.

27 Week Bump 27 Weeks Pregnant!

Glancing down at my naked tummy, my belly button is now a little off-centre so it seems Mini Madam has a preferred side. If you press lightly over the bump there are two slightly harder spots (feet and head) which means we’re able to gauge her length with a little more accuracy. She’s definitely longer than Dexter was at this stage and I’ve had the odd killer moment where her tiny feet have lodged into my ribs. Not only is this seriously painful, I’m also more than a little squeamish about having to poke them back through.

Due to her tiny lungs functioning better now, in just a few short weeks she’s gone from having a 1 in 4 chance of premature survival, to very good odds. There’s also a good chance she’s sucking her fingers and hiccuping in there now. Next week I’ll be in the third trimester and we’ll be on the home stretch. I’m really looking forward to having my body back to myself, and can’t wait to for that first celebratory swig of champagne. I figure I deserve it.

 

pixel 27 Weeks Pregnant!