I have some of the best weapons available at my disposal for #opbabyweight. I have the Nutribullet (a machine I might actually rush into a burning building to save), Juice Plus+ which has achieved vitamin supremacy owing to the 40+ years of hard science behind it, and gadgets aplenty designed to coax better fitness out of the laziest of people. Yet sometimes it’s the littlest and most inconsequential of things that help you feel a few inches smaller on a night out.
Whether you call them Bridget Jones knickers, tummy control pants, or plain old “shapewear” (why does that always conjure a mental image of silver-haired women browsing in M&S?) - every girl’s panty drawer will have a few buried beneath their racier cousins.
The world’s most unforgiving dress with no panties
Women are sly. Fact. We’re sneaky enough to wriggle our way into the unsexiest of knicks before slipping on our LBDs (barricading the door with our body weight until we’re all strapped in). Funny how we’re quite alright to let our fellas see us before our slap is on and our hair is done, but we’re so secretive about what’s under our bodycons.
We offer men plentiful excuses for not letting them see us get dressed; we don’t want to spoil the after-dinner treat, we need our dresses on before whipping the GHDs so our curls won’t get flattened… but in reality it’s because we know if he sees the scaffolding under the dress, it’ll ruin the sex kitten illusion we’ve spent hours creating.
In short, apple catchers are an essential bit of kit for the modern day woman.
So when UK based lingerie and nightwear specialist Camille got in touch about reviewing for them, I casually skipped over all the pretty nightdresses, practical PJs and cosy-looking robes, and headed straight for the passion killers.
I chose two different styles; Camille’s high waisted slimming briefs and the more conventional control high-waisted briefs. I expected much of a likeness to be honest, on the face of it, all shapewear is designed to do pretty much the same thing. For me, the idea is to smooth out a fold on my tummy that I’ll have you believe has been created by my c-section scar (not too many pies of course).
High-waisted slimming briefs (pair one)
First up we have the high-waisted briefs. This is a faux satin mix of nylon and elastane with no seams or decoration to really smooth out all your bumps. It contours from under bust to under your bottom and is available in an impressive range of sizes from 10-22 (I take a 14 if you must know!).
The panelling is such that it focuses solely on your tummy and skirts over your upper thigh - for a body as lumpy and unhappy as mine, this can result in further bulging under loose-fitting dresses etc.
The world’s most unforgiving dress with pair one
The other thing about these bad boys is that the waistband has no rubber seam to prevent rolling (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I hate you. You are the sort of woman I fantasize about throttling in my dreams). Funnily enough I haven’t had a bad experience with them not staying put, but something in that waistband is a little itchy.
Style wise these are probably the least ugly tummy control knicks I’ve come across, they’re simple and less “lace curtains” than many others. Yet this really is a case of substance-over-style and the other pair just win out for me. That said, I’d choose these for under jeans and trousers no problem at all.
Control Slimming Briefs (pair two)
The high-waisted control briefs offer a much smoother silhouette than the other pair making them ideal for wearing under clingy dresses. These feature a control panel to flatten out your muffin tops which really is a bonus and streamlines what is a problem area for many of us. A rubber waistband with a generous tummy panel also ensures you can tuck the band neatly under your bra for maximum comfort.
The world’s most unforgiving dress with pair two
Aesthetically they aren’t as pretty but who cares. I tend to shrug them off after a night out and slip into something a little sexier before Craig even notices. Again, they go up to bigger sizes and are available in black or white to suit every outfit.
I’ve worn both sets of knickers for long evenings on the town and haven’t any complaints other than the itchiness of pair one around my midriff. I forget about them when they’re on which suggests they’re doing the job perfectly.
The best bit, they’re £9.99 and £14.99 respectively. I’ve shelled out double that for highstreet pairs so I’d highly recommend both pairs as more reasonably priced alternatives.
In my defence, I couldn’t take this myself and Craig is a terrible photographer!
