I’m back from holiday and have finally waded through the thousands of emails, comments, tweets and Facebook notifications from when I was away. I’ll get around to writing up exactly what I thought of Fuerteventura soon but thought I’d start my holiday hangover therapy by sharing my experience of holidaying in my first trimester.

We didn’t intend to travel whilst in the thick of all the exhaustion and morning sickness as we booked it before we discovered those two pink lines. Having spent thousands on the trip, delaying it wasn’t an option and we both spent the first few weeks of my pregnancy utterly defiant that the whole thing would be a breeze. But as the weeks slipped by, it was clear it wouldn’t be a walk in the park.

Kicking off with a positive, the sickness wasn’t a major factor at all. Although I’ve spent more than my fair share of this pregnancy with my head in a toilet, the saving grace is that it tends to be like clockwork. It was actually easier to cope with on holiday as Craig was on hand to look after Dex when it reared its ugly head. I had plenty of time to shove my hair in a ponytail, grab a bottle of water from the fridge and make myself comfortable in one of the 4 bathrooms in our villa (yes 4! Don’t ask me why we picked such a huge villa for the three of us). The only tip I’d offer is to remember to take a towel into the bathroom with you. Most holiday villas in warm climates will have tiled floors and it’s not much fun cosying up to the loo with freezing cold knees..

The absolute killer was the exhaustion. As this was only magnified by the heat, I was forced to take a nap everyday between 11am and 1pm or I’d turn into Cruella de Ville by 8pm. Every morning we’d wake up, roll out of bed, and haul our butts to the clubhouse for a breakfast buffet like newly awakened zombies from Dawn of the Dead. We’d have a little family time at the villa then I’d be sent to bed to rest whilst the boys had fun in the pool.

Despite being utterly shattered it wasn’t easy to drift off as I didn’t have a maternity pillow and could hear Dexter’s excited little screams echoing throughout the villa. He also discovered a new ‘noisy’ hobby - namely playing with the pool squeegee. On a telescopic handle this squeegee resembled a broom without the bristles and became Dexter’s toy of choice. Craig would set him an obstacle course using the pool furniture and Dex would drag, carry or throw the squeegee through the maze. We’ve decided not to encourage him into a career as a lifeguard as he seems to have more fun throwing things into the pool, watching them sink, and getting daddy to dive in and retrieve them. The squeals were ear splitting!

All this napping meant we had to miss out on lots of island excursions. It also meant Craig had lots of solo parenting to contend with. Luckily my Craig is a far better parent-under-pressure than me and really enjoyed having some lad time with Dex, but I can totally see it being a problem for less hands-on daddys.

As is always the way when you go abroad, you discover just a small a world you in. It just so happens another couple were on our flight (and in our resort) who live a few miles down the road from us, are only a few years younger than us, and also expecting baby 2 in April. But there’s where the similarities end - it was like Jade Goody holidaying with Elizabeth Hurley - she looked amazing and I looked as though I’m entering my last month of pregnancy already. In fact, I felt huge enough to sink the entire island of Fuerteventura with a few well-timed jumps.

I’m trying to laugh it off but I’d say this was definitely a sore point this holiday. I’m used to being able to knock back the Prosecco and do some nudey sunbathing - being pregnant meant both these were off limits. I think I’d have been arrested for indecent exposure if I had even attempted wearing a two piece given the size of my belly. Hurley didn’t have a problem here though - she was bronzed, buffed and waxed within an inch of her life and you couldn’t even tell there was a baby in there It’s totally ruined the illusion I’ve been selling to Craig that all women pile on the pounds whilst pregnant.

So… would I do it again? In short, no. I’m a right whingey mare when I’m pregnant. Toss in the heat, a lack of alcohol, and swollen ankles and I’m a royal pain in the arse. Craig doesn’t believe in stress but I guarantee he would if we’d have spent another week there. He’s still determined to whisk us all away again in January but I’m not sure it’ll happen now.

Of course this is just my experience - I’m sure there are hundreds of Hurley’s out there that take a beach diet seriously and will continue to look and feel fabulous right up until the very second they dip their toes in the birthing pool - but I’m simply not one of them. I can also imagine it being a thousand times easier for first time mummy-to-be’s. Without a heat-frustrated, fussy eating, little escape artist in tow, you are bound to enjoy the experience a little more. There’s something magical about a first baby too - you almost welcome the nasty pregnancy symptoms as it means you can mentally tick them off as you read about them in What to Expect When You’re Expecting. When you get to baby 2 you actually get affronted by the sheer audacity of your body for messing around with your gag reflex or making those little veins on your boobs stand out.

Other than all that - it was fabulous thank you. Lol. What a ridiculous moany wench I am….

So… anyone else had the pleasure of holidaying in your first Trimester?