I turn 31 this in two days. Sssshhh don’t tell anyone as I still consider myself to be 29. You see, this time last year I was bed bound suffering a miscarriage. My landmark 30th passed with my head in a pillow, my body wrapped in sweaty bed sheets, and my son safely ensconced at his nanny’s. On my actual birthday I had a mini op to help the rest of our fallen baby’s body ease away from my womb. I woke up from the general anesthetic in a maternity ward - and cried my heart out over all the sounds of newborns getting to know their mums. It was horrid and a terrible start to the New Year.
Undeterred, Craig and I waited a few long months for my body to recover. Then we started again in earnest to make another baby. We had a few heartbreaking months when my monthly cycle kicked in and our efforts went unrewarded, then, we got the amazing news back in July that I was once again pregnant. Having suffered the miscarriage without the knowledge of many friends and family, I had my heart set on sharing the news immediately. If this baby wasn’t going to stay put and wasn’t strong enough to make it, I didn’t want Craig or I to ever have to suffer alone again. Thankfully, still very much pregnant at 25 weeks our fears appear to be unfounded.
In April this year, we’re set to welcome Mini Madam into the world. She’ll be our first daughter, and Dexter’s first sibling. Although we’ve barely scratched the surface of all the things we’ll need, and there are still ten potential names in the pot, we’ll be ready for her in a few months time. Until then, I’ll continue to moan and sob my way through this uncomfortable pregnancy and remind myself of the long game every morning I struggle to swing my water-retention ravaged legs out of bed. Just a few more months of sharing my body with her, and she’ll be in our arms and causing us sleepless nights.
So, in 30 odd years, I haven’t made a single New Year’s resolution. There’s little reason for this other than the fact I couldn’t face giving up any of my vices. But this year I’ve decided to join in and start 2014 in a decidedly more adult fashion than I managed before - I am about to be a mum-of-two after all!. Some of these might be a little ridiculous or optimistic, but hey, I’m a resolution-virgin so I figure I can be as outlandish as I want.
- Learn to use the vacuum cleaner, and drag it around a few times a week (I will no longer use the excuse that the Dyson is too heavy!)
- Get out of the habit of simply passing Dexter to Craig around 7pm and walking off
- Cook at least three times a week to give Craig a break
- Try to sit through some of Craig’s movie choices so we’re in the same room together for at least a few hours a week
- Try to breastfeed Mini Madam and get affronted enough to publicly name and shame when a restaurant looks on me disapprovingly
- Shed the baby pounds by next Christmas so I can wear skinny jeans without scaring onlookers in 2015
- Buy at least one item of clothing for myself every month so I no longer look like Charlie Dimmick in project-mode when I step beyond my front door
- Attend more blogging events and offer more inventive excuses for those I can’t make (my laptop now auto-recognises “childcare issues” as soon as I begin to type it)
- Take Dexter to rhyme-time, soft play classes, and other places that make my inner 20-year-old cringe, at least once a week
- Hold a few dinner parties and other social gatherings in our new home to remind me that I’m now an adult
So there we have it. I don’t suppose I’ll stick to any of it, but hey, the thought was there! Please do share your (no doubt) infinitely more achievable ones in the comments below. I’ll offer a few limp words of encouragement if you help me figure out how to switch the Dyson on.
Wish me luck! Gems
