31 Weeks Pregnant

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… And I’ve had enough. In fact, I’m counting down the days until I can serve Mini Madam with an eviction notice without being seen to be willing on prematurity. The thought of another 9 weeks (2+ months!) of swollen hips, uncontrollable moodiness, and cries of “Ooompf” when I accidentally stomach crunch my little girl, seems like nothing short of punishment.

There's a House Inside my Mummy

It’s taking sooo long, even Dexter needed reminding.

Now all my final appointments are booked, there’s nothing to do but wait. In a few short weeks, we’ll discover how this birth plan is going to play out and whether April will see #Labour tweets and unsightly pictures of me flailing around on a birthing ball from inside the Royal Berks Hospital.

My once pert little bump is now a sagging lump like an old sofa cushion riding low on my pelvis, and I’m now kicking myself that I didn’t undergo hypnotherapy to kick my cherry bakewell habit in the first trimester. This has bought on a relatively new phenomena for me - stretchmarks. In fact my belly now looks like the glaze on a loaf of tiger bread. No amount of smothering myself in Bio Oil seems to shift them and I’m slowly facing up to the fact that my bikini days are now definitely over.

SPD and sciatica continue to plague me at each at every waking moment. I’m getting by on around 4 hours sleep at night and as many naps as Dexter will allow. I’m definitely struggling to switch off as the pressure to get our 52 name shortlist down to 10 heats up. This insomnia is real problem and I’m positively hideous to be around. I’ve caught Craig camping out in the kitchen a few times and his eyes will widen in fear if I go within 3 metres of him.

When I’m not being as evil and cynical as Katie Hopkins, I’m usually crying at something ridiculous on the television. Coverage of the floods on the news, the sheer offensiveness of Mister Maker’s theme tune, or the GB curling team at the Sochi Winter Olympics… yes curling. What has my life come to?

31 weeks

Preparations for baby’s arrival are still woefully underfunded. With not one but two insurance claims put in this week (one a result of a nasty car accident) we’re berating ourselves for not having attacked the January sales with more ferocity. She now has a bath, and all the furniture she needs, and I’m delighted that she’ll be spending her first few month in an NCT bedside crib courtesy of Bednest, but she’s looking set to be a right exhibitionist as we haven’t bought her a single sleepsuit or babygrow. My breastfeeding ambitions better go to plan too as there are no bottles in the kitchen cupboard either > This is all a little woe-is-me isn’t it? We’re not as poor as I make out, but it certainly feels like it sometimes.

I was very close to reneging on the No Pink rule this week too. Having had my head turned by a seriously cute Laura Ashley print, I very nearly abandoned the grey and yellow nursery theme in favour of chintzy flowers. Thankfully Craig caught me just as the mouse cursor hovered over the checkout button and he gave me a stern talking to. I can now safely say I’m back on track and thinking rationally again.

So that’s it. This is the person I am at 31 weeks pregnant. Please tell me it gets quicker from here on in - Please, please, please.

 


New Baby Wish List

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Craig and I have spent the last few weeks berating ourselves for being so quick to throw away Dexter’s old baby bits. As we both hate clutter, no sooner would he be out of a car seat than it’s whacked on eBay and sold for £’s less than we bought it. Other things have been given away to family members, taken down the local charity shop, or are currently gathering mould in the shed and therefore won’t be fit-for-use for baby 2. I can’t even use the excuse that this new baby was a surprise as we started baby-dancing just a few months after Dexter was born!

The plus side is that, having been through it once, we now know what is essential and what is completely useless. I won’t be buying another nappy bin or baby sling as these literally sat in their packaging for months before finding their way onto eBay. Sadly, the £70ish we’ll save by not getting these bits won’t even touch the sides of the things we do need. And I have got my eye on a few upgraded bits and bobs this time around!

So here’s my new baby wish list:

 

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First up we’ll need a new pushchair / travel system that can accommodate both my babies. Dexter loves to walk now, but he’s not nearly ready for a 15 minute stroll to the shops. I have been busy reviewing a buggy board to see if this might work but I figure I’ll still need a ‘Transformers-style’ contraption to lug both littlies around town. It’ll have to be of those double-decker jobs as 30 odd years on this planet has taught me I’m not spatially aware enough to maneuver a tandem buggy through a shop doorway. I’m currently eying up the seriously sexy iCandy Peach Blossom. I can’t pretend it looks really practical or comfortable for the kiddiewinks, but I’ll sleep better knowing I can share a path with an old lady without shunting her off the pavement into the path of an oncoming bus.

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So that’s off road misadventures taken care off, now for a comfortable Group 0+ car seat for family days out. Dexter had a few of these as we were lucky enough to road test a few different brands. For newborns however, we swear by Maxi-Cosi. For ease of transferring baby in and out of the seat, and also carrying the seat to and from the car, it’s simply unbeatable. The hand grips are nice and comfy and the seat is cushioned far better than any other brand I’ve come across. Better still, they fit all major travel systems.

WalnutCotBed

As I plan on breastfeeding this baby for considerably longer than I managed with Dexter, I’m also planning on getting a bedside crib rather a Moses basket this time around. I’m looking forward to being able to fall asleep an arm’s length away from him or her, and being able to breastfeed in bed in the dead of night rather than toddling off to the lounge so as not to disturb Craig. But when baby is big enough, they’ll graduate to a cot bed. I’ve fallen a bit head over heels with this Baby Style walnut sleigh cot bed that transforms into a stylish day bed / sofa… gorgeous.

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Next on the list is a Dutailier nursing chair. I’ve wanted one of these for ages as I don’t think I spent enough time gazing at Dexter when he was tiny. Every time I nursed Dexter I’d lug him into the lounge and pop on a box set - 2am, 3am, or 4am made no difference. This time around, I’m thinking I’ll relax on my chair with my kindle instead. Hopefully I’ll find it easier to get back to sleep if I make it a quiet experience for myself and baby.

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Of course, he or she will also need a play mat, bouncer, and activity gym to keep them entertained. I suspect they’ll need somewhere quiet to chill out in between being poked and slobbered over by Dexter! Baby Thingz have the iconic Fisher Price Jumperoo series all for less than £100 so that’s where I suspect we’ll start our search. They also have the very cute Chicco Jolie Baby Bouncer which has had rave reviews on many mum & baby sites. I figure I’ll need as much hands-free time as I can get with two little horrors to keep an eye on!

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Lastly, I really fancy an all-singing, all-dancing baby monitor this time. When Dexter was weeny we lived in a two bedroom flat. It might have been palatial in size, but we were never less than 12ft away from him due to the quirky lay-out. This meant we could hear him easily, and a movement activated sensor was all we needed. For baby 2, we’ll be in our new home with a flight of stairs between us every evening. When Craig and I are watching telly downstairs, baby will be slumbering upstairs. Given I might well have a c-section scar to be mindful of, I really want a video monitor to keep an eye on them.

So that’s it. Of course this doesn’t even include clothes, feeding essentials, and nappies. It’s an expensive game, this baby-making business!

So am I missing anything? What would you have for a new baby if I let you loose with my credit card?

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