Aug 2 2016

Fun Family Reunions - But Without The Stress!

Posted on August 2, 2016 by admin

With everyday life busier than ever, it can be difficult to set time aside for leisure time. While we normally see our immediate families often, with meal times and lazy weekends, family reunions can be put off and repeatedly delayed.

It can be difficult to arrange something for a large number of people, especially if they all have different interests and personalities. Organising a day that will provide enough distractions, but still allow people to mingle and socialise can be stressful. But here are a few fun and simple ideas for next time it is your turn to plan a day out:

Home-cooked meal

Inviting everyone round to yours for a simple home-made meal is a cost-effective and simple way of spending time together. Prepare for the meal in advance, and choose a recipe that most people will like. A beef casserole or stew is an ideal choice, as it can be prepared in the morning and left to cook throughout the day; leaving you with plenty of time to speak to people and enjoy yourself. Serve with crusty bread and wine, and allow people to help themselves. Casseroles can be cooked in one big pot, so you won’t have a lot of washing up to do, and they are easily adaptable for fussy families and anyone with special dietary requirements.

A beach day or visit a park

Getting some fresh air outside is the best way to have a relaxed and non-confrontational day together. If you’re having a big reunion, going for a hike and spending time at the beach is ideal as there will be plenty of things to keep everyone interested. Socialising is much easier when people are busy and joining in together, so take some games and activities such as rounders and cricket.

Family

Pack a picnic for lunchtime, and ask everyone to contribute something. This will make everyone feel involved, and you won’t have as much work to do! There are loads of great picnic ideas online, such as cheese straws and stuffed loaves. Pack bottles of water and cordial to keep everyone hydrated, and make sure you’ve all got change for an ice cream on the way back to the cars!

Visit a farm or attraction

If there are a lot of kids, you’re going to need something to keep them entertained. Organising for everyone to meet up at an attraction provides lots of space and an educational aspect. Children and adults alike will find something to enjoy, and they are normally reasonably accessible for both wheelchair users and pushchairs. Most attractions will have a cafe, so break up the day with a lunch or coffee break. For a more cost effective option take a picnic and blankets, as long as the weather behaves!

Go on a hike

If your family is reasonably active, organising a hike or country walk for the day. Stock up on snacks and drinks, and get everyone in their sensible walking boots. Take dogs along to keep the kids entertained, and plan games and challenges along the way. Walking will banish any awkward silences between family members who aren’t as close, and allow them to make new memories and experiences.

Jul 21 2016

Sexual Anxiety and Parenthood

Posted on July 21, 2016 by admin

I’m so lucky to have Craig in my life. I might not always tell him how much I appreciate him, but I do. He’s my soulmate, my best friend, and a truly amazing and patient daddy to our children. Handily, I fancy him like mad too.

This is how I feel about him, but how does he feel about me?

I shouldn’t, but I often do think to myself that he must feel a little short-changed. Pregnancy didn’t look great on me, and its legacy isn’t too hot either. I have stretchmarks in places I didn’t even realise could stretch, and a handful of months breastfeeding our children has changed my silhouette in the most unfavourable way possible.

This seems to be the same with many of my mum friends. Our bodies, once sexualised by our partners, are now simply vessels built for the manufacture and nourishment of little people. Breastfeeding certainly didn’t help. I’ve blogged about the very real effect this had on my mental health, and the fact I felt like I was being suckled like a cow. It brought on crippling panic attacks and postpartum anxiety, and I really felt as though I lost myself over this period.

It’s therefore only natural this should impact on my sex-life and the way I feel about sex.

I guess I just didn’t expect that, having once led a very healthy and fulfilled sex-life, that my brain could decelerate so rapidly with the onslaught of parenthood. I don’t suppose that a lack of quality adult interaction, and hours spent discussing superheroes and Disney princesses do much to correct this either.

The result is a kind of sexual anxiety. It’s a product of lost confidence in my body (both physically and emotionally) to perform satisfactorily under the covers. Sex is more than just a physical response and my mind is just too exhausted (and probably depressed) to properly transition from Mother to Lover. So despite being fortunate enough to lay beside the most attentive and attractive man I’ve had, I’m not always allowing myself to enjoy it.

And, guess what? This is far more common than society would have us believe.

Sexual anxiety manifests itself in a number of ways. Although there is the obvious physical distinction between men and women that makes sexual anxiety far more newsworthy for men, sexual anxiety in women is a very real and under-discussed phenomenon. Although I can’t place myself in this league, in extreme cases this can prevent women from getting lubricated enough to have sex, and it can take away the physical desire to engage in it at all.

We’ve all heard of “fight or flight”, when stress hormones like epinephrine and norepinephrine are released in a series of reactions designed to prepare your body to run or confront a threat - whereas this would be hugely useful in a hostage situation, it’s not so useful when you’ve booked a dirty weekend away.

So what can you do about it?

Of course, there are medications that can help a man achieve and sustain an erection, and you can even buy Viagra online without prescription. Yet for women, solutions are far more complex. Here are my top tips for overcoming sexual anxiety:

Be open with your partner

If you’re in a loving and committed relationship, then just speak up. I struggle to hide a glass of wine from Craig so would find it impossible to conceal anything sex-related. I also feel I owe it to him to tell him how I’m feeling so he understands it isn’t anything he’s doing wrong - I’d hate to project any of my own insecurities on to him, especially when that would be so totally undeserved. Finding solutions has been nothing short of fun either as this blog lays testament to.

De-child your bedroom

No I don’t mean, pop your kids in another room - this goes without saying. But creating an adult-space for you and your partner to relax, might require a little re-jigging. Being surrounded by kid-clutter when you are trying to take your mind away from your little darlings is naturally counter-productive. Instead make your bedroom a child-free haven and stash away any of their paraphernalia elsewhere in your home.

Relax into ‘it’

Of course there are other ways to climax without penetration. You might also find that devoting time purely to your partner, will better prepare you for sex itself.

If this is one step too far, pull it back a bit and just have a cuddle and a smooch. When was the last time you properly kissed your partner anyway? Fortunately, Craig and I have always been very hands on and will take 30 seconds out from washing dishes to have a quick cuddle. Just because we’re a little out of sync in bed, doesn’t mean we should be elsewhere in our lives.

Don’t be hard on yourself

Give yourself a damn break. Many sexual anxieties are a product of the here and now, and may therefore lessen over time. Money issues, family drama, a bloody heatwave… any of these things could be unconsciously affecting your libido. If body issues are your thing, don’t crash diet or hastily book yourself in for surgery - just take it slowly and relax. When you find the right someone to spend the rest of your life with, a few months without intimacy is nothing to panic over.

Jul 20 2016

Potty training with Huggies Pull-Ups #6Steps to #PottyTrainingConfidence

Posted on July 20, 2016 by admin

You might remember I recently announced we’re all set to potty train Mini Madam. This coincides with a summer-long partnership with Huggies Pull-Ups and their newly devised Huggies Pull-Ups 6 Steps to Potty Success program. They’ve worked with renowned child psychologist, Dr Heather Wittenberg, to create practical, helpful and science-based tips to help you support your child through this exciting, yet often messy, journey.

6 Steps

At just 26 months, it might seem early, but believe me this little girl is raring to go. She watches us go to the toilet intently, knows where the potty is, and will sit on it when instructed. She’ll also regularly whip her nappy off and pop it in the bin.

This is much earlier than we started with Dexter, who had some early training experiences bordering on horrific. Let’s just say we came within inches of replacing the carpet for the entire upstairs of our then home.

So this time, we’re excited to have the expert tuition of Dr Heather Wittenberg on our side. She’s pulled together a 6 stage plan to cater for tots of all ages & abilities. On the website pottytraining.co.uk you’ll find hugely helpful advice, printables and coupons for Pull-Ups. As if that wasn’t enough, Huggies have also sent us a huge box of goodies tailored to Heidi to help her make the transition - check out my unboxing video below!

If you’re looking to join us on our journey, here’s the contents list - you might find some of these helpful in your own preparations. Highlights for us are the musical potty that Heidi has fallen a little bit in love with, the super cute Disney Princess-inspired reward chart, and the egg timer. We’ve found this infinitely helpful as a way to gently remind Heidi that a visit to the potty is due.

List

As you can see from her reward chart, Heidi has really hit the ground running with her journey. She was already exhibiting many of the key indicators that she was ready to train, and we felt confident enough to ditch the nappies last week. We made a big thing of this and threw her a Little Big Girl party so she fully understood she was on the cusp of something momentous - more on this in the next few weeks.