Parenting is hard work, and for a stay-at-home mum the pressure cranks up a few notches. The job role is a varied one that includes, yet is not limited to, personal chef, pre-school educator, cleaner, first-aid specialist, personal stylist and social secretary. She also has some of the toughest working conditions in the world - I mean there are very few employers out there that expect their staff to cope with the bodily fluids all day (vomit, snot and worse) without the benefit of Hazmat suits and industrial machinery. As if all that wasn’t bad enough, a mum has some of the fussiest clientele around - her children.
If, like me, you often hide out in the kitchen staring longingly at the bottle of Sauvignon Blanc in the fridge with a bulging vein threatening to burst from your temple, it’s really important to relax and re-charge of an evening. I’ve turned into a bit of an expert at this and regularly clock-off come 6.30pm. A quick kiss with Craigy then I slope off upstairs for some “me time” leaving 2 tired and hungry children with bulging nappies in my wake.
Once that stairgate slams shut behind me, I often indulge in one of the following. I won’t pretend that I go to bed relaxed and excited about the prospect of a new day with the children, but it does make this parenting thing a smidgen more bearable.
Reading
Whether you like a bit of Mills & Boon, or the enigmatic Jack Reacher is more your thing, reading is not only great for the grey matter, it’s relaxing too. I write for a living (albeit surrounded by the chaos of my children) so it’s also really important for me to read as widely as possible to get better at what I do. My tips are to avoid e-readers late at night, and try to stay away from parenting manuals (they’ll only make you feel inadequate).
Beautification
I’m not suggesting you get up your other half’s nose even more and book yourself into a spa every week for a massage with the gorgeous Patrice. Just take an hour out and do one thing for yourself every night - whether that’s applying a spray tan, painting your nails, or even just shaving your legs. It can feel pretty soul-destroying when hubby comes home from work suited and booted and perfectly coiffed, whilst you’re in dirty leggings with hair that hasn’t seen a brush since 7am that morning.
Join a wine club
I often buy new mum pals a subscription package with Wiine.Me. This is my ultimate mum survival tip. By joining a wine-tasting club where you get a case of wine curated by top sommeliers every month, it’s the perfect excuse to get lightly sozzled at least 3 times a month. You can justify any resulting squiffiness to your other half by telling him this is your new hobby.
Get fit
Somehow, despite the fact you rarely get to sit down throughout the day, a stay-at-home mum will gain a few lbs for her troubles. So after a particularly challenging day, hand the kids to daddy and get down to your local gym. Most do night classes of Pilates and Yoga so you can improve both your physical and spiritual wellbeing in one hit. If this isn’t bag, have you actually seen some of the guys at the gym nowadays?? - That Insanity Challenge stuff has done us gym bunnies a massive favour! Just staring at these men for 15 minutes burns calories (that’s what I tell myself anyway).
Online Gaming
If your own reality is threatening to have you committed, escape it by immersing yourself in a new one for a few hours.
This doesn’t mean you have to buy an expensive console and regress back to your teenage years. Things have come a long way since the times of Sonic the Hedgehog and Street Fighter, there’s now games out there for the intellectual as well as the teenager, and many of these are as inexpensive as an app on your iPhone. If you enjoy self-improvement, try a brain-training app. If you fancy yourself as a geek, immerse yourself in MMORPGs (> this makes no sense to me either, but I’m assured there is such a thing). Even something as simple as playing bingo online can mentally whisk you away from the stresses of parenthood for a few hours. In the case of latter you can also have a whinge about your life to strangers in chat rooms and potentially win yourself some extra pocket money to book that spa… Win, win!
Turn your lounge into a cinema
Whilst I’ve listed half a dozen things you can do on your own, you shouldn’t totally neglect your other half. Without wanting to infantilise dad, he should be regarded as another child in need of quality time with mummy. You don’t need a babysitter either, just join Netflix or NOWTV and watch a film once a week on the sofa. If you’ve followed all my advice above and been a little selfish, try to indulge his film choices - you’re bound to score brownie points if you allow him to put on Captain America without moaning.
So there it is - my top tips on how to win at parenthood. Got one of your own? Leave me a comment!
