Panic Attacks Archives - My Mills BabyMy Mills Baby

When they’re young, take sensible precautions rather than being reactive

As a parent, you do need to take precautions and steps to protect your child, especially when they’re young. This is what your job is. And it definitely helps to plan ahead rather than be reactive. If you are constantly reacting to negative situations rather than preventing them from happening in the first place, it’s no surprise that you’re always worried and stressed about your child. Anything from stocking up on sun cream and other medicines from an online pharmacy, to attending first aid courses can really help. Equip yourself with the right tools to deal with an emergency and you’ll quickly feel more empowered.

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Work on your own mental health

Sometimes, rather than worrying about your child, you should think about yourself. If you feel like your worrying is getting a little too out of control, you should pay close attention to your own mental state. This will help you to assess whether you worrying all the time is a sign of another mental health problem that you might have. Even if that’s not the case, working on relaxation techniques can help control your anxiety. Things like deep breathing and CBT can also make a difference if you often find yourself in a panicked state.

Weigh up every parenting decision rationally

There are lots of parenting decisions that you will have to make as your child grows up. You should try not to get stuck in your ways and only do things in a way that is fair and sensible. If you just get into the habit of making certain decisions without them having much of a basis in fact or reason, this will just make your life more difficult, and your child will resent this as well. It’s important to weigh up every situation on its own. No child rearing book can tell you the precise and specific details of your situation.

Separate legitimate concerns from fantastical fears

There are two types of things that parents can be worried about. First of all, there are the day to day things that can realistically happen. We all know the dangers out there, and it’s only right to mitigate these for the good of your child. Then there are the fantastical fears that are not really logical or realistic. For example, if your child wants to stay over at a friend’s house, there is probably no reason to stop them. As long as you talk to the other child’s parents and make agreed upon arrangements, it will be fine.

Teach and inform your children

When children are taught about and informed of the dangers of the world, they are more likely to be able to stay safe. That might sound pretty straightforward and obvious. But many parents prefer to hide the harsher side of life from their kids. Of course, that’s something that is understandable too. But it won’t help your child, and it won’t stop you worrying. In a calm way, and a way in which is appropriate for their age, tell your children about what they should do to stay safe when they’re not with you or their other parent or guardian. As your child becomes more self-aware and makes better decisions, this should stop your worrying a little.

Don’t take everything so personally

Finally, you should stop trying to link yourself so closely to the things that happen to your child. For example, if your child does something wrong at school, it’s not necessarily anything to do with your own parenting skills. Much of the worry and fear that parents experience regarding their kids is down to the fact that they are worried about how they will be perceived as parents. That’s not what matters in this kind of situation though, so just focus on your child and don’t worry about the other things that might be whizzing around in your head.

You don’t need to be that parent who worries about everything. Try to relax and work on yourself, and you can avoid that destiny.

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Try as I might to take this blog in a serious direction for once, I probably won’t manage it. As I sit down to write this post I have every intention of sharing my experience of post-natal depression, and the debilitating panic attacks I’ve had since having Heidi. However, since this is such a departure from my usual care-free style, I suspect that I’ll wind up making a hash of it!

The truth is, I’ve given people reason to think I’m the biggest hypochondriac on the planet. Not a week goes by where we’re not beset by some disaster or another, or one of the family falls ill. I’m the sort of person who can make a headache sound like a tumor and I’m fully aware of this. But these panic attacks are in a league of their own and have really knocked me.

I’ve always been a bit of a happy loner. I love socialising, but only with people I know. Despite this, I’ve had customer-facing jobs and am a confident public speaker. Some might see this as a contradiction, I can only agree, but this is exactly how I’ve lived my life so far - all 30+ years of it. I’m at my happiest with Craig, Dexter and Heidi, but unfortunately this has a propensity to make me ill.

The whole saga started in 2012 when the midwife handed me Dexter. A bit of agoraphobia kicked in and I hated the faff of taking him out and about. The baby blues just didn’t seem to go away, and I wasn’t able to recover any of the energy I had before I was a mummy. Despite being treated for PND and feeling better emotionally, a little anxiety has stayed with me ever since. Until now this hadn’t manifested itself physically, I just tended to over think things and turn minor things into a drama.

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The PND came back (as I’m told is often the case) when Heidi was born. This time however I was quick to nip to the doctors and get myself medicated. As was the case with Dexter, the medication has made the world of difference. I now feel happy, confident and more capable with the kiddies. I’m no longer wallowing around the house and tearing up at the prospect of a entire day alone with the two of them. I now enjoy every second with them both and things are exactly as they should be.

So when the panic attacks started 6 weeks ago, I didn’t have a clue what was wrong with me. In fact, I’ve only just accepted anxiety as a diagnosis.

My first ever attack happened in bed with Craig. One minute we were talking about the kids, and they next I was in agony. It felt like I had trapped wind in my chest, yet within seconds I was struggling to breathe and writhing around in bed. I was sweating, my back was aching, and every movement hurt. I kept begging Craig not to let me die as it felt as though I was having a heart attack. After 2 minutes pacing around the bedroom and clutching at Craig in desperation, he called for an ambulance.

Whilst waiting for them to turn up, I was sick. The sense of relief was instantaneous and I felt like an idiot. Despite me trying to reassure the ambulance crew I was okay, they weren’t prepared to take my word for it and gave me oxygen, and an ECG in my living room. To rule out a blood clot and run more tests they took me into hospital. Shortly later my blood results and a chest x-ray suggested I was all-clear and I was sent packing.

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Believing this to be a one-off, I didn’t give it much thought until it returned 5 days later. Once again, I couldn’t catch my breath, my heart was racing, and I was sweating. Thinking it was a digestive problem, I made myself sick in the hope it would pass over again. But this time it didn’t work, and 10 minutes later we were back on the phone to the emergency services. But, once again, by the time they reached the house, it had abated.4

We had a long chat with the ambulance crew and they urged me to visit my doctor. They thought it could be a damaged esophagus from my c-section or even severe acid reflux. So I duly did as requested and was prescribed Omeprazole which is supposed to reduce the amount of acid in my stomach.

But the attacks have continued.

I’ve had so many now that they’ve become second nature. They seem to be completely random; occurring at any time of the day, and lasting anywhere between 15 minutes and an hour. Having now ruled out a digestive problem, I have little choice but to accept they’re postnatal anxiety attacks despite my feeling better than ever. My doctor is keen for me to try talking therapies but I’ve flat-out refused as I already know this won’t work for me. The next step is CBT which I’m just as dubious about but seems to offer a few practical tips for dealing with them when they arise.

So I thought I’d write this post to raise awareness of the problem, and advance the idea that might be a link between PND and anxiety attacks. There seems to real lack of information about it, despite anxiety among new mothers being rife in forums. The physical attacks however seem to be an under-investigated phenomenon.

I’ll let you all know how the CBT goes so you can consider it yourself if you’re in the same boat. Until then, I wondered, have any of you experienced panic attacks after giving birth? If so, I’d be really interested to hear your story.