You might have spotted I’ve been a bit preoccupied with Christmas preparations recently. I used to really enjoy buying presents, but over the last two years I’ve really struggled to make decisions. To start as I mean to go on, I’ve prepared a mini spreadsheet with everyone’s names on and have been busy populating it with gift ideas. The idea is to link to as many things as I can, and watch them like a hawk just in case they somehow slip into the sale section and I can bag some bargains.
I’ve millions of ideas for Dexter and the children in the family, and I’ve even managed to find some lovely things for the grandparents. But let’s face it, men are ridiculously difficult to buy for. I find myself year after year racking my brains trying to recall conversations we’ve had for inspiration. Yet every year he’ll get stuck with a few Diesel tees (he likes the fit) and some Clinique face cream. This year I’d love to get him something different.
Luckily I’ve found a site with dozens of funny ideas for the man in your life. The Internet Gift Store has loads of really affordable stocking fillers and out-of-the-box ideas for the tricky to buy for man. Hopefully this will mean that Craig gets to open a few more pressies on Christmas day.
If your old man is a big kid at heart then perhaps you could tap into the 80′s retro theme. Craig is a huge Star Wars fan so I love this Darth Vader apron (£14.99) and Jedi fleece robe (on sale at £26.99). The Marvel Comics wash bag (£11.99) is also very cute and might mean he stops taking up space in my Cath Kidston bag when we go away for the weekend - why are men’s deodorants twice the size of women’s anyway?
Or if you’re looking for something a little more practical, then there are also some bits your other half would get tons of use out of. This battery powered iPhone charger (£12.99) would be great for quick charges when you’re on the go. Although Craig has an in car charger, we have two cars and often forget to switch it from car to car. This would fit comfortably in my handbag and earn me heaps of brownie points when we’re out and about and he needs to get the latest football scores.
A key finder (£5.49) would also be an easy hit in our house. Although Craig is really careful with his keys, our cheeky monkey often has other ideas and will literally scale Everest to have a chew on daddy’s car keys. Unfortunately, Dexter isn’t so great at putting them back after he’s got bored with them and we’re often ten minutes late to parties where we’re searching the depths of the sofa for them. This key finder beeps when you whistle so would be the perfect solution.
As Craig is also the main cook in our house (I say main… in reality, the only dish I can actually cook without supervision is cheese on toast!) I also really like this chopping board set from Joseph Joseph at £46.
But whilst browsing for Craigy, I also found these seriously cool neon lights for just £32.99 each. I’m not suggesting we have one of these in our bedroom but they’d be perfect as a nightlight for Dex! And that’s without even looking at the kids section!
So there you have it - a perfect selection of quirky gifts for men - big and small!
What’s on your Chrimbo list for your other half this year?
I read an article entitled Sexism, Pinkification and Our Daughters last night on Parentdish. This isn’t the first time I’ve read about parents up-in-arms over both the medias portrayal, and brands dissemination of the role of little girls. In fact, whole campaigns have been built by frustrated parents based on perceived sexism, gender stereotyping, and the pinkification of our daughters (www.everydaysexism.com, www.pinkstinks.org,uk, and www.lettoysbetoys.org.uk). Each of these websites aim to end the trend of limiting children’s interests by persuading brands and retailers to drop gender exclusive clothing, toys and messaging.
Having read a number of related articles to Craig last night in bed, far from being inspired, our eyebrows ached from raising them. Here’s our response - I’m not sure you’ll like it!
Pink. I hate it. And any multi-tonal variety thereof.
But this isn’t because of some grandiose philosophy on gender stereotyping. It’s because I think it flushes the colour out of people and reminds me of the girls toilets in primary school. Its walls were a garish shade of baby pink with water stains and other brown marks I don’t want to think too deeply about.
Pink is just so unflattering. Just look at this picture of me in a bridesmaid dress. Forget how unhappy I look for a moment - I look positively jaundiced. Yellow suited me far better.
You are very unlikely to see pink anywhere in this house. In fact, the only place it is at all welcome is on my nails, or as a nice thick line on a pregnancy test.
The very fact we’re trying for a baby means I’m often daydreaming about baby 2 and how we’ll parent him or her based upon our experiences with Dexter. I can’t deny it would be incredibly strange to welcome a mini-me into our home. I’m pretty sure I was significantly more difficult to parent than my older brother.
If I have a little girl next time - I’m quite convinced that aversion to pink won’t be a problem. I’ll still pop her in little dresses - they’ll just be peach, or white, or yellow, or blue. You see, I’m not opposed to the prettification of little girls, I just can’t stand pink.
Other mummy’s have complained so passionately about the lack of choice for little girls, it’s as though it’s wall-to-wall pink in the girls section at Next. This simply isn’t true. 5 minutes on the laptop and I managed to find a vast array of pretty bits that won’t make your child look like candyfloss. Like these…
But these campaigns aren’t just about clothing. For some, the waging of war against gender stereotyping pervades every aspect of their parenting style. The media is full of stories about parents who attempt to raise their children as gender neutral and refuse to disclose their sex for fear their early experiences will be somehow limited.
Okay, so this is perhaps the most extreme end of the campaign spectrum. Not many parents would have the time, inclination or audacity to experiment with their child in this way. Quite honestly, I find it disconcerting and entirely unnecessary - particularly when such stories are played out in the press.
Beck Laxton and Kieran Cooper justify their decision to raise their son Sasha in this way “so he would not be influenced by society’s prejudices and preconceptions”. Only a handful of parents knew Sasha’s gender before he entered the school system.
They say Sasha picked his own clothes and toys and therefore they empowered him to make his own decisions, but it was they who chose to shroud their child in mystery, and they who bought the selection of toys and clothes he has to select from. I sincerely hope Sasha grows up to be happy and confident as a result of his parents choices, and not the subject of ridicule.
Anyway I digress.
The more popular sentiment of these campaigns are to persuade brands to adopt a more holistic approach to gender, and to create toys, clothes and experiences that both boys and girls can enjoy. Nowhere is this better fought out, than in the fiercely contested arena of television advertising.
There is always a furore about some advert or another that plays into gender stereotyping and gets on the nerves of the feminist sect. Weetabix was the latest brand to come under fire for its depiction of differing childhood experiences for girls and boys.
I just don’t get it.
We don’t kick up a fuss when we see a woman serenely wiping crumbs off a work top in a Magnet kitchen ad. We don’t all jump on Twitter when we see a slightly hapless and overweight actor with Pot Noodle dribbling down his chin in their advertisements - why is there such disparity in people’s responses to child vs adult actors?
The same can be said if people respond negatively to product placement, selection and signage in shops. We’re not so quick to complain when we’re shopping for our Christmas LBD’s - all of a sudden it’s very convenient to have his & hers spaces then.
But it’s toys. Toys that really get people’s goat. They are quite right in some respects - the choice for girls is woeful! I completely agree that supermarkets and toy chains alike seem to think our little girls really enjoy making their own bracelets and handbags and playing with dolls with purple synthetic hair. But their argument falls down when they wax lyrical about the great toys on offer for boys. Science kits, building blocks, trucks and trains… if these are so marvellous, educational and suitable-for-all, then why don’t parents just simply buy these for their girls? It’s not rocket science is it?
The truth is that boys and girls, men and women are inherently different. As you’ve seen, I’m more than open to the idea of switching up wardrobe colours, and wouldn’t snatch a Barbie away from Dexter if he decided to chew her legs rather than his fake iPhone - but we don’t need to foist playthings upon our children in the name of gender equality.
Just buy things you think would be interesting for your child. Toys can be an extension of a childs personality, but it certainly doesn’t define them.
If my next child is another boy, Dexter might not see a My Little Pony for a few years - why would he? I’m not denying him an experience by not providing him with bits of plastic. If later on, the odd girlie toy makes it into his list to Santa then so be it. We’ll buy it, he’ll play with it, then it’ll be superseded by something else when the novelty wears off.
The same attitude will be applied to my daughter, her playthings will be a mix of Dexter’s hand me downs and things I buy that I think she might like. These might well be ragdolls but my actions won’t force a narrow definition of femininity upon my daughter. Good parenting will put paid to that.
Afterall, Margaret Thatcher (whatever your opinion of her), Jessica Ennis, Hilary Clinton and countless other strong and powerful women weren’t necessarily fooling around with plastic utility belts and GI Joes in their formative years.
So there you have it. I can’t help but think that the gender-stereotyping debate is boring, irritating and exaggerated. Let children be children - we all know they won’t remember what the hell you dressed them in anyway, and babies of either sex would happily swap the entire contents of their nearest ToysRUs store for twenty minutes gnawing on daddy’s car keys.
So what’s your take on gender stereotyping? Do you have real concerns that the media is limiting your child? Would love to know your thoughts.