ARGHHHH just getting from one side of my living to the other is like The Eliminator on Gladiators at the moment. If I’m not dancing around a zillion Lego pieces, I’m avoiding Barbie’s spiky limbs or renegade Kinder Egg toys that have survived the weekly cull. I must pick up said items every hour and sort them into toy boxes, but my kids aren’t fans of imposed order, and neither are these toys. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that Dexter’s collection of 50+ Fireman Sam toys really do creep out of exile themselves.
Yep, toys are the bane of my life.
It’s takes every ounce of strength I possess not to shove the lot into black bags at the end of the evening. I’ve come close. Once I bagged up around a third of the toys and cleared enough square footage to finally bring in the vintage rocking chair I rescued from a antique shop only to re-home in a damp spot in my garage. Guilt stopped me when I heard a McDonald’s Minion Toy belting out obscenities from the depths of a bin bag.
So I’m stuck with them. Unless…
The thought has occurred to me (usually when drunk) that I could rent a storage room and create the ultimate adults-only den. The other half is always dodging parental responsibilities and heading off to the gym, so maybe I could pretend I’d signed up myself then toddle off to my bunker for some peace and quiet. A Chesterfield sofa, the old television, some blankets… I could create a mini cinema and finally watch the entire series of House of Cards without having to sshh the kids every five minutes. I’ve had crazier ideas.
In fact, I’ve hit on to a bit of a trend. McCarthys Storage have put together a funny list of 25 unconventional uses for their storage rooms, and it seems their customers have ideas far more quirky than mine. I love the idea of renting out a scream box to escape the stresses of modern day life… “Soundproof the walls, put a poster of Katie Hopkins up and let loose.“… or using it as wine cellar or a mini recording studio. They’ve even suggested recreating your childhood with a huge ball pit!
It seems storage rooms have a life beyond containing cardboard boxes and old furniture. In fact, if their walls could talk they’d be begging you to turn them into more exciting. Their excited chatter would make a welcome change from the protestations of these four walls as they groan against the weight of plastic and batteries. My landlord popped round to fix a leaky tap yesterday and I swear you could see me literally shrink down to the size of my baby daughter in embarrassment.
Yep, for now, my vista of Fisher-Price is all too real. It seems whilst I’ve been daydreaming of a toy-free existence Heidi has slipped on a colouring book and face-planted the coffee table. Best go sort her out…
If you could rent a storage room for a year, what would you do with it?
