We’ve all heard people say that “no one ever wrote a book on how to be a good parent” (an excuse usually batted out on Jeremy Kyle as to why little Johnny ended up in the care system) - it always makes me bristle a bit as plenty of people have done exactly that. For me, common sense and plain old research play a large role in my response to parenting Dexter. I’m never afraid to ask my peers if I get stuck, but Google has also helped us out on more than one occasion. This is particularly true when Craig and I are mulling over when to introduce new foods, new play, and new challenges (such as potty training) to Dexter.

This is why a recent study by the Centre for Social Justice (CSJ) as reported by BBC News yesterday, really got me thinking. It centred on the fact that some school children enter the system some two years behind where they should be developmentally, and without the rudimentary social skills needed to get the most from the education system. Worse still, there are a growing number of 4 and 5-year-old school children still in nappies and unaware of their own names.

This think tank haven’t held back any punches. They’ve cited an increase in entry-level children who have clearly had an “abysmal” start in life, and parents who “just can’t be bothered”. Although there was a distinct lack of hard evidence in the article, read instead as a social commentary on our primary school education system, it’s still very worrying, and very hard to ignore.

Is there ever an excuse for such woefully ineffective parenting? Or is this, in fact, symptomatic of child abuse? If so, what can be done about it?

Rather than focus on these questions the report turns instead to causation. In my opinion, it mistakenly cites nuclear family breakdown as a major cause - a social problem too often exaggerated in my opinion. The truth is that these children are being failed by more than one parent in order to fall so drastically behind the levels of development expected for their age. Rather, the next cause cited seems more realistic.

Emotional neglect from disengaged parents is also a damaging factor for children’s development, says the study. There are also 700,000 children living with parents who are “dependent drinkers” and 335,000 with “dependent drug users” BBC News

This, for me, is the only cause for this problem. That’s over 1 million high risk children being failed by their parents; as neglect is a form of child abuse in itself, that’s over 1 million potential Baby P’s and Daniel Pelka’s living in our society.

The Government response seems less than decisive. Despite increasing the pupil premium to £2.5bn a year and doubling the number of disadvantaged two-year-olds eligible for free nursery places to 260,000 - this is a reactionary measure, rather than an attempt to save these children from a potentially damaging home environment. What if there really is an altogether simpler solution that will allow us to distinguish between genuinely naive parents, and those who simply can’t be bothered?

SOURCE: NHS Choices

It seems to me that it is parents who need educating, rather than children. Give them the tools and knowledge to better nurture their children, and some of the preschool skills gap might be addressed. Don’t send known high risk babies home to their drug dependent families without giving them a clear set of expectations. Put crudely, what if parents were given a manual on the basics of childcare at the time of birth?

I think it’s taken for granted that new mum’s will have online parenting resources, and the confidence to seek advice from their peers. If instead, it is clearly spelt out that children should be hitting modest levels of attainment month by month, then parents can better prepare their preschoolers for life in the classroom, and potentially spot special needs children earlier. Perhaps more importantly, it might help weed out those children who are being let down by neglectful parents.

This isn’t even a new concept. The Birth to Five book used to be routinely given out to all new mothers - I know my own midwife mentioned the fact that it was available to buy from the NHS website shortly after I had Dexter (she was mistaken, by then print versions had been discontinued). Although the same information is now available on the NHS choices website, this might not be accessible to all.

This would obviously need to rolled out in tandem with a whole host of other initiatives to tackle the problem from source. Specifically, we’d need to come down much harder on those parents who aren’t showing due care and attention to the needs of their children. But just maybe a back-to-basic approach would help improve the early prognosis for some preschoolers - let’s face it, anything is worth a try to prevent children being failed by their parents: Ignorance of key milestones their children should be meeting in advance of starting school is simply not good enough in today’s society.

FURTHER READING:

“More pupils wetting themselves, say teachers” BBC News

“Education Underclass” of children in the UK is still in nappies when they start school The Independent