Sep 12 2013

Dear Dexter… (Money Talk)

Posted on September 12, 2013 by admin

Dear Dexter,

Right now, you’re an innocent toddler who is infinitely more chuffed with mummy’s battered old Blackberry than an expensive new toy. If we happen to swing by Toys R Us to stock up on nappies, you’re happy to suck on your fingers and people-watch rather than throw a strop because mummy won’t buy you a Moshi Monster.

But you won’t be like this forever.

Soon you’ll be flicking through the Argos catalogue with eyes as big as saucers. Yep, I’m sure there will come a day when we’ll lose you when we’re on a routine trip to Tescos as you’ve gone face-first-bum-last into the shelves in the toy aisle like it’s Narnia. Moving on a few years still, I’m sure you’ll have many a sulky evening sat in your bedroom refusing to come down for dinner as dad and I won’t find the money to buy you the latest computer game.

This isn’t because we’re horrible parents. This isn’t your cue to call the Samaritans. It’s just part of life.

It’s natural to want things as you’re growing up. We all want things. Right now mummy would like a pair of Manolo Blanhiks and a spa weekend - but these aren’t necessities (actually, that’s debatable). Most of the things you’ll want won’t be necessities either. It’s all very well having the latest games console, but it’s utterly pointless if you don’t have a home to play with it in.

You see, things cost money. And some things are bigger priorities than others. Having a warm and clean home, food in your belly, and clothes to muddy are the most important things. Followed closely by savings.

You never know what is around the corner. You never know when you’ll meet the girl of your dreams, want to get married, and make mummy a grandma. Or perhaps you’ll hurt yourself when you’re playing rugby for England and need to take some time off. You’ll be very happy you put some pennies aside to cover your living costs when big changes happen.

When mummy & daddy want things, we don’t just nip out to the magical money tree in the garden. Daddy is out the door before you’ve woken up every morning, and is back in the night-time having been delivering letters all day in his white van to earn money. This money, almost all of it, is spent on our house, and the yummy food we eat.

Daddy doesn’t always want to get out of bed. As the weather gets colder, and the mornings get darker, it’s not much fun climbing into a freezing cold van at 6am with only Nick Grimshaw’s morning show for company. Daddy would love to stay at home with us and make dens out of sofa cushions, watch your face as Mr Tumble pulls things out of his spotty bag and play ‘Daddy’s gonna get you’ all day. But he goes to work everyday to provide for you, mummy and the baby in mummy’s tummy, as we’re the most important things in the world to daddy.

Hopefully daddy will inspire you. I hope he’s your hero. Hopefully you’ll inherit all his good bits and learn from him. If this is the case, I just know you’ll realise the value of hard work and how to provide for your very own family. You’ll go on to achieve wonderful things in this world, and have amazing experiences that you’ll have worked hard for. You’ll have money kept aside for the tough times, and will emerge out the other end happy, confident and determined - just like daddy.

I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t aspire to have nice things - trust me you’ll have loads of these! In a few weeks time we’re off on holiday and this is something we’ll try to do every year. Treats are important too - and if you work hard, you’ll be able to have lots of shiny new toys in your lifetime (and mummy will eventually be able to afford those shoes and the facial she’s been lusting after). Just always ensure you’ve covered the basics first and can truly afford to treat yourself. If I ever catch you in a BrightHouse showroom you’ll be in big trouble!

Remember always that mummy & daddy love you very much and that’s worth more than all the computer games, trainers and mobile phones in the world. We’ll always be there to help you out so do make sure you come to us if you’re ever worried, make a mistake, or just want some advice. That’s part of our job as your mummy and daddy - a job we’ll never get bored of but doesn’t pay a single penny!

Love Mum

* This is an entry to a competition being hosted by Think Money. They’ve challenged us bloggers to teach our children how to embrace a safe relationship with money. As Dexter is a weeney bum and doesn’t even understand what “Come to mummy” means yet, I’ve popped down my thoughts in a letter so he can appreciate it when he’s older. T&C’s are here if you’d like to join in for yourself.

Jun 27 2013

Feeling the Pinch - The Downside to Being a SAHM

Posted on June 27, 2013 by admin

t1larg.stay.at.home.mom

I knew when I decided not to return to work that our lifestyle would be very different to how it was before I had Dexter. There would be no more nights of drunken debauchery or shopping sprees, and we’d have to work doubly hard if we wanted any treats.

There’s no denying that money is tight here at Chez Mills at the moment. Lots of bills have gone out this month leaving precious little for Craig and I to play with. Given we’re dead set on the Australia move, we’re having to save every penny we have for legal fees. We’ll also have to use a car financing company when we’re out there too as our car simply isn’t worth taking over there with us. Couple this with the fact we’ll have to sell everything here in the UK and have to furnish a home from scratch over there, and it’s truly headache-inducing.

With all this going on, our kitchen is a bit ‘Old Mother Hubbarb’ (as in nothing in the cupboard). Breakfast and lunch is now toast and a cup a soup, I’m mending old clothes, and I’ve dusted down old cleansers and make-up that are at least 7 years old in a bid to save the pennies! Don’t get me wrong, Craig works hard and earns good money. We have a roof over our heads, and we still manage the odd treat, but tightening your belt is never much fun and we don’t appear to be getting anywhere quickly. With our holiday budget dissipating, I’m dreading something breaking that will need replacing.

I think the next thing to go will be our washing machine. It’s one of those with a digital display that counts down to the end of a cycle, and it seems to get stuck on 47 minutes every time we do a load. A good kick usually sorts it out, but it’s only a matter of time before it gets fed up of being abused and packs in completely.

Craig’s work van will also need upgrading soon. As he’s a courier he does approximately 35,000 miles a year and likes replacing them every 3 years. With no money put aside we’ll have to use a car financing company to fund the upgrade and it’ll be just another loan to add to a growing list.

Still, it’s not all doom and gloom. When Dexter isn’t destroying our home, he’s actually incredibly cute. We’ve become incredibly close and it’s lovely being there to see every milestone. We’re also saving on nursery fees, and I have lots of great activities lined up for him when he’s old enough to be trusted with scissors, paint and glue. I’m also able to write this blog which will be such a great scrapbook of our days spent together when he’s older.

So weighing it all up, having to downgrade my wardrobe and shop for supermarket own brands, is a very small price to pay for getting to spend my days at home with Dex. I mean, who wouldn’t want to wake up to this every morning!? But if anyone does know next week’s lottery numbers, feel free to leave me a comment!

062

Dec 10 2012

O Christmas Tree! Special thanks to Cambium

Posted on December 10, 2012 by mymillsbaby

Last year was a comedy of errors as far as the Christmas Tree goes. We had just moved house, I was heavily pregnant, and we left it far too late to buy a tree. We debated not getting one and tried to tell ourselves we didn’t need one, but seeing the hundreds of pretty trees posted on Facebook, I eventually snapped and barked at Craig that we had to have one.

So two weeks before Christmas Craig virtually had to perform an Indiana-Jones-style-roll through the doors at Homebase before they shut for evening. Rushing through to the plant section he had to literally wade through scores of broken and deformed trees to find one large enough for our lounge. I remember that tree very well as it ended up living in our bath for two days. It had an abnormally large base and didn’t fit in our planter. We had tried laying in down in our kitchen and hacking at it with a carving knife (in hindsight - the most inappropriate tool ever) to try to slice off some of the excess - but it’ll come as no surprise this didn’t work.

In desperation we posted on Twitter and Facebook appealing for someone to help us track down a planter big enough to hold up our tree. As the only response we got was from Cumbria, we ended up waiting for an auction to end on eBay for a resizable one in London (50 miles away). Craig then had to take time off work to go and pick up the bloody thing. With a tree languishing in our bath, it literally couldn’t come soon enough - it had begun to show signs of mould and had developed a kind of curvature of the spine resulting in a very prominent bend in the trunk.

When we finally got the tree up, the wonky bit threatened to tip it up at any moment. We ended up propping it up against the wall and giving it a wide berth for the 3 weeks it was up. With the lights costing us £80 (as everywhere had run out of the cheap ones) that tree was nightmare from start to finish!

So this year, when an old friend messaged me on Facebook with an offer of a tree delivered to our door, we bit his hand off. The offer was from Stuart from Cambium - a specialist corporate plant supplier that I have worked with before in a professional capacity. I’ve actually been an office manager for several London-based firms, and always took Cambium with me from job to job. They’ve supplied me with perfectly manicured indoor trees and ornate flowers that always got wonderful comments from colleagues and office visitors. Cambium were always such an absolute pleasure to work with and the plants always looked fabulous (despite my considerable knack for killing plants just by admiring them).

As a special thank you for inviting them to tender for a few big contracts, Stuart has given us the most beautiful tree for our home. It has to go down as the best tree we’ve ever had - fantastically bushy and smells divine. It’s certainly made up for all the stress of last year and we’re so grateful.

We had lots of fun decorating it and I only hope we’ve done it justice - what do you think? I’m not sure we’ll be winning any prizes soon…