Multigenerational homes; Caring for your elderly loved ones

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You can’t switch on the news nowadays without seeing something on Britain’s social care crisis. As advances in technology make it possible for us all to survive illness and live longer, a growing ageing population and acutely under-resourced services make the “problem” of how to go about caring for our loved ones a very real concern.

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As politicians search for a solution, and the threat of ill-conceived ideas like May’s Dementia Tax are bandied about, the trend for multigenerational homes is growing. It seems more of us than ever are pooling finances with our parents to buy super-sized properties together. The idea is for adult children to care for their parents as opposed to placing them in a care home. Far from being a ploy to avoid paying for care, it’s about giving our loved ones the ability to die with dignity in their own homes.

Is this right for you?

Taking on a loved one’s care is a lifetime commitment and not for everybody. You have to ask yourself if you are physically and mentally able to accommodate their growing needs, and (just as importantly) whether your children/partner are prepared for all it entails.

Think about how things will work if your loved one deteriorates suddenly. You will become responsible for their day-to-day care, and may need to take a career break to do so. As well as the demand on your time and finances, it’s likely to be an emotionally charged experience.

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Yet alongside the pressure, it can be equally rewarding. Knowing your parent is under your roof and receiving the quality of care they deserve is a strong motivator. Your children will also have the opportunity to grow up alongside their grandparent/s and hopefully benefit from many shared experiences.

Could you do it? If the answer is yes, here are some of the practical considerations you’ll need to make:

The right home

Accommodating a multigenerational family under one roof can be tricky. Whilst you’ll likely both want the same kind of space you have in your current homes, you’ll also need to accommodate the altogether more complex needs of your older housemate/s to ensure it truly is future-proof.

You’ll likely want a house with ample space downstairs that can reconfigured to give you both enough space to live as independently as possible. Ready-made solutions are few and far between so be on the lookout for houses with scope for a garage conversion, one storey homes, and houses with large plots and extension potential. Hopefully you can pool resources to maximise space and meet everyone’s needs.

The right community

If, like we quickly discovered, your budget just doesn’t stretch far enough, you may want to consider extending your search area. Your eventual new location will have to satisfy both your children’s ever growing needs (schools etc) and your loved one’s also (close amenities and health services). Getting that balance right means research, and lots of it.

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Ideally the right area will have a nearby GP practice, dentist, supermarket and a good sense of community. Making friends can be daunting, particularly if you are older, so having things on your doorstep, and not a short drive away, will make things easier if you anticipate mobility problems in the future.

Future-proofing your home

If, like my mum, your loved one is disabled, there’s extra pressure to get your home fit for purpose. Contact your local authority and get an occupational therapist round to assess the space. They’ll be able to advise on what you need to do and whether you’re entitled to any grants to help pay for any modifications.

Otherwise, creating ramp access into your home, levelling door frames, and installing grab rails are all sure-fire ways to future-proof your home. If, like my mum, your loved one has a mobility scooter, you’ll also want to make sure your new home has outside space for a lock-up to house it in and an outside power supply for charging. If space really is at a premium, you might want to look at a folding mobility scooter instead.

Get things done quickly

In our case, we’ve found ourselves needing to act quickly. Mum is currently on her own in a house that has become unsuitable. She’s lonely, increasingly isolated and unable to look after herself safely. We’ve long discussed selling her home, taking out a mortgage and pooling finances to fund a new home together, yet didn’t realise how complicated this would be.

If your loved one has diminishing mental capabilities (like mine) and you’re planning on selling up and purchasing together, be aware that your conveyancing solicitor might seek advice from their GP and a psychiatric assessment might be necessary. Getting your ducks in a row before house-hunting is well advised. Get advocates from social services and other healthcare professionals to weigh in early so you have the best chance of realising your goal.

Finally, as this might also involve the merging of two homes into one, you’ll also want a solicitor who understands the complexities of doing so, who can guide you all openly about the legalities of what you are doing. Multigenerational living is not about care home avoidance, it’s about families electing to care for each other for as long as possible.

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