I read a lot of blogs. Some I read with a sense of brooding envy, others turn me off quicker than Marco Pierre White Jr’s leopard print trousers. My own blog is by no means perfect, but I try to keep in mind all the dross I’ve read in the past so it’s an attractive welcoming space for brands who want to collaborate, and for family and fellow bloggers to see what we’ve been up to.

A great blog will straddle a fine line between diversity and focus; that’s to say it’s easy for those looking in to see what you’re interested in, but there’s been real care taken to present these themes creatively. I can’t say I’ve ever hit this model of perfection, yet I do try to swerve some of the bigger blogging pitfalls that crop up all too regularly on other blogs.

The fact is, it’s very easy to undermine your blogging credibility, and some people do a truly excellent job of it on a regular basis. It’s almost as though they want to get called out publicly by Twitter’s grammar police and spend an eternity languishing at the bottom of their own mother’s to-read list. If this is you, then do I have a treat for you? Read on to discover 5 easy steps to royally f&*k up your blog:

DO tell yourself that a B in GCSE English means you can swerve spellcheck

I can forgive the odd error here and there, but when someone writes about ‘there holiday’ to Skegness I want to strip them of their internet connection & send them back there for a few years. Even spellcheck counts this as an abuse of the English language and proffers a green squiggly underline to alert you to your idiocy. Do you notice? Of course not, as you don’t even bother to drop your content into Word.

DO tell the world what a twat your ex is

I almost don’t want to include this one. When someone gets laid more than Scotty T and wants to tell me about it, I’m usually the first to subscribe to their blog. The same goes for a blogger who is going through a particularly tumultuous divorce and allows herself to get a little too candid with the details. We all love a popcorn moment to break away from the monotony of nipple cream reviews.

Yet failing to ask yourself how appropriate you’re being can result in you becoming the subject of gossip. Other mums will gossip about you in hushed tones at the school gates. Other bloggers will DM one another with links to your content and a wide-eyed emoji. Brands you have collaborated with will send emails to their PR houses asking them to take you off outreach mailers.

Remember that your mum, your neighbour, your daughter’s teacher, your ex and Aaron from Sony might be reading it; not only will word eventually get back to that person you’re defaming (landing you in a whole heap of shit - especially if you’ve been casual with the truth), Aaron isn’t likely to offer you that 4KTV in exchange for your thoughts either.

DO throw a diva strop in response to outreach

Work for free? Do you realise how long it takes to write a post?

… all responses I’ve seen banded around in Facebook groups in response to a PR who has cheekily tried to get you to write about their client’s latest press release without a budget.

Remember that Anna from Social Piglet might be a 16-year-old work experience placement let loose with a keyboard & email account. The truth is that all brands will ask their PR houses to mail their marketing contacts with their latest 2 for 1 promotion. Blogger outreach is most probably the furthest thing from their minds - rather they’re after a 240mm by 240mm ad placement in the Tameside Tribune.

Instead just be courteous. You don’t know what opportunities there might be for a more mutually beneficial collaboration in the future. Acting shirty and throwing your rate card around like you’ve forgotten who you are, won’t score you any points in the PR world and you’ll get yourself blacklisted. Anna might then have the last laugh when her agency signs Hyundai and is looking for family bloggers to work with.

Remember that you are merely one blogger sharing space with an ever-growing tribe of other bloggers. Even when your DA pushes dangerously close to 40, and you can afford to tell your boss to shove his job, you’re still competing with Sharon from Bognor.

DO accept a guest post on holidays for the over 50s if you’re 30

When your name makes it on to a few SEO databases, Fabio from Payday Loans for Morons will soon hit you up fishing for a link or two for $45. It can be very tempting to take on the odd bad assignment - I know I have. Just try and bury these deep into archived content so they don’t appear on your homepage.

As much as you tell yourself you’ve managed to craftily squeeze in a link about commercial underfloor heating in an otherwise natural post about renovating your home on a budget, you haven’t. I’d never begrudge anyone a quick £ or two, but try not to dilute your brand identity so readily.

DO use thinly disguised statuses on Facebook to beg for PR contacts

We’ve all seen these right? Be it querying the features of the latest iCandy pram with Toni on Twitter, and @ing the brand to hint that you’re desperate to review it, or asking all your mates on Facebook for the PR contact for Kiddicare to resolve a customer service issue, it looks a little lazy.

I’m not suggesting you should pander along and wait for brands to come to you. Hell no. If you’re hankering after a new docking station for your iPad, although you should never expect anything for free, tweet a few brands on Twitter and ask for their PR contact. In most cases, it isn’t the brands job to screen requests so they’ll be only too happy to defer you to their PR house. If you’re prepared for a few disappointments along the way, there is a chance your hard work might pay off.

Don’t be tempted to give fellow bloggers email addresses for PRs without seeking their permission either. Some brands will have very specific criteria for blogger collaborations (some of which might seem completely pernickety to you) and they won’t thank you for it. For example, Skoda might be looking for a single mum in Berkshire between 35-40 years-old, with children aged under 5 years, who blogs about feeding her family on a budget, and the steps she is taking to reduce her personal debt. I know. I’ve been that person in an agency searching for this mythical blogger.

So there you have it. 5 easy ways in which to destroy your credibility. This isn’t a definitive list so do feel free to chuck a few more at me. As always, I can take it as well as I dish it out, so feel free to call me out.