I’ll let those of those in the 30-something-and-over club stop humming Simply Red before this moan officially kicks off. I still find it surprising that he managed to gain such popularity with the model-set during the 80′s - Kaftan-wearing, smelly dread-lock sporting, gold tooth brandishing men don’t appeal to me. Back then he looked like his clothes would smell of a heady mixture of bonfire and cannabis.

Anyway, I digress. This post is about the January pinch - That horrible sinking feeling when you have to rub your eyes at the ATM as there seems to be a zero missing on your onscreen balance. Those awkward kitchen conversations with your partner about how you might be able to save a tenner here and there at home, but you really really need him to fork out for your haircut this month. Meals cobbled together from year-old freezer food rather than your traditional Friday night takeaway, cancelling your Netflix subscription in earnest, and taking your child to the local swimming pool on a Saturday to avoid the temptation of the January sales… Sound familiar?

We do this every year. Last minute present-buying and eye-wateringly big food bills in December deplete the January balance sheet before the New Year even begins!

You delude yourself into thinking you’ll save a fortune staying in and doing activities within the confines of your home - slow cooker meals with cheaper meat, get around to those kids crafts you’ve been pinning on Pinterest, and doing the odd bits of DIY you’ve been putting off for far too long. But it doesn’t work. A battered frozen pie in the reduced aisle at ASDA is £2 cheaper than braising steak, you discover you need felt, cork board, superglue and dozens of other things to recreate the Pinterest masterpiece, and you find out the hard way that you’re crap at DIY and you’re lumped with an unexpected repair bill… *Sigh*.

Yep January is the month of barely edible food, bickering and penny-pinching, and according to the papers, today is ‘Massive Monday’. Apparently these 24 hours “will see more extra-marital affairs begin to bubble and job applications written than any other day of the year” (Okay, okay, this is the Daily Mail). How fabulous for me that this wonderful date in our calendars should fall just two days after my birthday. Perhaps my Craig is sat downstairs seething just that little bit more as he’s had to raid the savings to buy my present this year. In fact, given he has the tablet downstairs, I might well have to check he hasn’t joined match.com whilst catching up on last night’s Silent Witness!

One thing is for certain - this is one dull, depressing and painful month, and it’s incredibly fitting I was born into it!

Anyone else feeling the pinch this month?