I’ve raised a monster. A never-satisfied, ever-hungry, constantly crying monster. Short of the 2D head, my son is Stewie Griffin incarnate.
Okay, okay, so I’m exaggerating a tiny bit. But it does sometimes feel like my son is hell-bent on breaking me. Whether it’s pulling my hair out, pinching my eye lids and plucking out my eye lashes, or drawing blood through biting my nose, he’s definitely leaving a few scars.
He used to be such a smiley baby - and it was so easy to make him laugh. Right now he’s obsessed with Peekaboo and mummy’s fake sneezing which are invaluable weapons to whip out when he’s fed up and plotting my demise. But recently Dex has stepped up his “Hurt Mummy” campaign to include slapping me. Yep, my sweet-faced baby boy is getting vicious and no amount of hiding-my-face-behind-a-blanket will stop him.
We’ll be having a cuddle and then Bam! The next minute he’ll be shoving his palm in my face like Jaden Smith rolling out one of those banned karate moves intended to break your opponents nose. He even delivered one to my solar plexus the other the day that actually winded me.
Naturally we offer a stern little “No” and gently tap his hands, but the consternation on our faces makes him roar with laughter. I have no idea if he understands “No” yet (he’s only 12 months) so we don’t want to punish him, but we do want to put a stop to the constant beatings. I’ve been popping him in his cot for a five-minute time-out every time he does it. He’ll scream and shout at Dougal the Bear and the rest of his cot mates as if to inform them what a bitch I am. Then we’ll have cuddles and make up.
I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. Jeremy Kyle and Trisha like to point out to their woefully incompetent guests “No one ever wrote a manual on how to be a parent” - but this isn’t actually true. PLENTY of people have written books on parenting, and 90% of it is pretty damn useful… but I’m yet to find one that can say with 100% authority that they understand what ‘Bah, Bam, Ka” means (or any variation thereof). This seems to be the problem - we’re struggling to communicate with each other.
He constantly wants to be sat by my side, or in my arms. Putting him down for even a 30 second stretch results in hysterics that could literally burst your ear drums. The thing is, despite his over-dependence, there are times I have to question whether he even likes me! Most of our daily exchanges seem to involve inflicting some kind of pain on me. It gets to the stage where I can’t wait for Craig to come home and offer me some relief.
We’re always celebrating and praising the good things he does and we’re a very tactile family - lots of kisses and cuddles (from us to him, never the opposite way around!) - but the problem seems to be getting worse with Dexter getting more and more frustrated everyday. I know he’s desperately wanting to explore more and get walking independently, but its slow progress. It could be a few more months yet before he’s able to bust out the moonwalk.
Has anyone else had to deal with an over exuberant 12 month old? Any ideas how can I reign in his fists and save myself a few black eyes?
Don’t really know what to advise, but didn’t want to read and run. Mine has never been a hitter at that age, but enjoyed pulling my hair. It will pass, though I know it is frustrating for you all at this stage. Hugs
Thanks my lovely. I’m currently nursing a slash under my eye. No idea how to control it. Hopefully it’ll pass and we’ll have a wonderfully calm two-year-old instead… I doubt it!
I really think that it’s that they don’t know their own strength and I think they don’t really have a clear idea of where they end and you begin, if that makes sense? It isn’t intentional and sometimes babies of that sort of age think it’s quite funny when they get a loud reaction from Mummy.
My advice would be to put him down and say ‘no’ firmly, try not to shout out in pain (I know it’s hard). I wouldn’t really do the time out thing unless you need a few moments to decompress. Five minutes is an age to a child of his age and he can’t understand what is going on. He’s too little. My Bud is just like this, really rough and no better even at three, the difference is time out does work now and he understands that it hurts me if he is too rough. Although, apparently children don’t feel empathy until they are seven or eight I believe so it’s more the impact of time out on them than the fact that they have hurt you that is their concern! It’s tough, I have bruises from Bud regularly but he genuinely doesn’t mean it, he just doesn’t know his own strength.
Anyway, love the photo! How grown up does he look!
Good stuff honey. I usually have to pop him somewhere as I’m bleeding! I know exactly what you mean by shouting out in pain - if he realises I’m in pain, he cries. The louder my reaction, the louder he screams. I feel terrible making him cry but he can really hurt! x
my first comment here is persevere, as you say he is only a year, keep up with the no, but instead of putting him into his cot I would suggest the floor, or a playpen as you do not want him associating where he needs to sleep with a place of punishment or you may find he thinks when he is put to sleep it is a punishment.
I am just thinking aloud here but certain types of autism stop children from wanting to be tactile.
I have no first hand experience on this, Bob only borders on some autistic tendencies.
Lastly, he DOES Not hate you, he is not capable of that level of thinking and putting a punishment into place that he sees fit for you. ((((hugs)))) and well done on writing such a difficult post.
Thanks honey - I’ve had the odd tear about it. The playpen is a good idea - we’ll have to try it. I just always think they look like a jail for babies - but then it seems that might be what we need! I just feel so cruel - like I’m constantly reprimanding him and we’re not having any fun xx
I have total empathy and sympathy for you! One of my biggest post-becoming-a-parent moans is that no-one told me how many times I would end up hit, kicked, scratched, smacked, garrotted, headbutted…and these are all things that aren’t done with any malice! My least favourite regular favourite of Ma Puce’s is the elbow in the voicebox when we’re having morning snuggle time.