There aren’t many positive news stories about care homes. I’m not suggesting it’s not newsworthy to report when their standards fall short, or we shouldn’t name and shame workers who provide unacceptable care, but are all care homes really as dreary and depressing as the media would have us believe?

I’ve had occasion to visit a dozen care homes recently. Having sat down with my Nan and asked her how she would like to spend her later years, she was surprisingly upbeat about the prospect of selling her townhouse and moving to a residential care home. Having lost Granddad, she’s lonely in her home, and although my brother and I have looked into modifying our homes to accommodate her, she’s very insistent she wants to retain her independence. Personally I think my children are a little too young to respect her personal space and frailty, and my home is just too loud and chaotic to offer her the peaceful and restful environment she craves.

Her criteria is modest. She only wants a large sunny room, with a peaceful view. She’s still very glamorous and takes her inspiration and energy from the world around her, so anywhere too clinical definitely wouldn’t suit. She’s also incredibly sociable and wants plenty of company, so a buzzy activity-packed environment is preferable to one more tranquil.

Although the limited experience I’ve had of these places had been all mismatched G Plan furniture, scruffy staff and battle-worn patients, I tried to stay optimistic when I first hit Yellow Pages. We have an ageing population in this country, and care homes are now big business. People like my Nan are prepared to pay sizeable sums to get the supported living they require, in attractive environments tailored to their tastes and needs. So contrary to popular opinion, care homes are not simply God’s waiting rooms - there’s real choice out there when it comes to assisted living - for all sorts of different budgets.

So what can you expect if your loved one decides to make the move?

Well for one, you get peace of mind that their needs are being met - whether that’s help with preparing food, feeding, using the bathroom or taking medication. My Nan is frail, and at 82 is showing signs of senility and dementia. Right now, the family are taking it in turns to visit and assist her in her own home - which means helping her with all of the above, and staying on top of her housework. We’re not resentful, the kids love being there, I love being there - she’s not a burden to us at all, but sadly I think she’s becoming a burden to herself. It scares me that she might forget to take her pills, or indeed take too many, or even that she might be sat uncomfortably in her chair having not made the toilet.

Secondly, they’ll get lasting companionship. A good care worker isn’t simply there to pour drinks and help your loved one to stay clean. They’re a friendly face in the morning, afternoon and evening, and someone your mother / father / grandparent can trust with their secrets, ailments, fears and memories. Then there are other residents, all with their own personalities, and their own tragedies and stories. Knowing my Nan is lonely, this gives me real peace of mind.

So I’m determined to make this next chapter in my Nan’s life one filled with positivity and adventure. Hopefully she’ll go on to create lots of new friendships and memories, and we can relax a little more in her company and make every moment more worthwhile and special. She’s a very special lady my Nan, and I’ve never been more convinced that this is the right move for her, and us.